#i witnessed the entire thing play out scene by scene in our head as we lay half asleep in bed this morning | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

swiftyangx12 · 4 months ago

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🕸️Webs Intertwined🕸️

[Pairing]: Villain!Miguel x Spider-Woman![Reader]

[Synopsis]: Miguel has encountered a respectable scientist from another competitor and things get interesting.

[TW]: Female Reader insert, Marvel/ATSV Violence, and Moral Quarrels

[A/N]: This is inspired by @exhaslo’s Corruption series. Ex, if you’re reading this, you’re an awesome writer and I adore your work. Especially the smu-!

Just another day at ALCHEMAX, employees with their assigned duties and responsibilities while heads lowered to avoid distractions. Though, many stir clear from one such scientist, specifically the infamous geneticist and son of the company’s owner, Dr. Miguel O’Hara. A ruthless madman who would do anything to “improve” humanity, no matter whose life is destroyed.

However, things would change when another famous company signed a deal, a collaboration where both respectable parties will start working together for future projects. People whisper among themselves that the other also has their own infamous scientist, but they seem a little "nicer" than O’Hara. For such example, they don’t risk anyone’s live and safety during highly dangerous experiments.

Meet…

[Y/N], a bright and cold bioengineer: I’m Dr. [Y/N] [L/N]. It seems my company is collaborating with yours for the entire year.

Villain!Miguel: “Shock, she’s beautiful.” It appears so.

[Y/N]: My director informed that I’ll be working with you for the time being. Here’s my business card, and contact me for work purposes only.

Villain!Miguel: “Cold and strict. Shocking Hell, gonna melt [Y/N] and make her mine.”

♦️🔷🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️ 🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🔷♦️

As weeks flew by since the start of the collaboration, workers from both sides feel the high tension between O’Hara and [L/N]. Everyday is eventful from the two who always battle each other with different ideas to deem whose is better with less casualties. They even bicker during break times.

[Y/N]: Absolutely not! We are not jeopardizing our coworkers for your cruel experiments. We need to start with smaller subjects before human trials.

Villain!Miguel: Think of the possibilities, [L/N]. Humanity needs better outcomes so it’s best to use them.

[Y/N]: O’Hara, we’re trying to help others. Not play God by sacrificing many people.

Villain!Miguel: Help. You think it would change for the better.

[Y/N]: Rather to continue with testing than have high body counts. It’s why our companies signed together, to enhances civilians so they can live healthier and be at the appropriate age to move on from life.

Villain!Miguel: “Even her view on humanity is too good, and macabre.”

As the sun already set with lights of Nueva York shun bright through the night’s darkness, trouble already started. Criminals from many corners of the city have begun with their dirty work, however a certain spider has to prevent the rates from climbing up.

Spider-Woman: *Hangs the defeated criminals in her web* “Stupid shocking O’Hara. Why so obsessed with messing with people? Trying to prove to someone?” *Sighs* At least these idiots are easy tonight…

Spider-Woman notifies the police to clean the mess up and shoots her webbing, swinging out of the scene. She swung from buildings to skyscrapers while discreet at best to avoid witnesses…

“Did you see the news?”

“An actual hero.”

“We haven’t seen one since the Era of Heroes.”

Word got around as scientists and nosy coworkers gossip among themselves about the mysterious hero. Though they sounded in disbelief, were ecstatic that an actual heroic figure is present in their precious city.

[Y/N]: People, we have work to do. You can talk during your breaks, but not while doing your routines.

Everyone around Dr. [L/N] groan and return to their work while some need their coffee. As unfortunate timing for [Y/N], a familiar presence casted over her.

Villain!Miguel: You don't like the new hero?

[Y/N]: *Not turning to face him while feeling disgust and annoyance* O'Hara. No, it's a distraction. We have other priorities to fulfill before fooling around.

Villain!Miguel: So uptight. Have you actually loosened up during your hours?

[Y/N]: I'm just doing my job. Unlike you, a reckless scientist who care less of others. *Walks past Miguel without looking at him the slightest*

Villain!Migual: *Chuckles lowly* We'll see about that.

Later in the evening, [L/N] had to deliver some late-night reports to Miguel’s office and arrived at the door. She heard from other ALCHEMAX workers of how secretive he is with his work, so he has his A.I. assistant, L.Y.L.A. to drop updates of any whereabouts that concern him.

L.Y.L.A.: *Materializes in front of the bioengineer* Hey girl! Here to drop some reports, I see.

[Y/N]: Yes, I just finished them. Could you let me in?

L.Y.L.A.: Sure thing! *Opens the automated doors to the office* Just be aware I have eyes everywhere. *Adjusts her heart-shaped glasses and smirks*

[Y/N]: “Not for long.”

[Y/N] shivers as the cool air from the room hits her. Before entering, she pulls out a hard drive and inserts it in the keypad next to the doors.

L.Y.L.A.: What are you-

[Y/N]: *Calmly commands* Shut the cameras off.

L.Y.L.A.: *Shuts them off unwillingly* What did you do?

[Y/N]: Just updated your system and added in something that can benefit me. *Her eyes glare down at the A.I.* I want you to follow these commands: don't record any footage involving my presence, especially with audio recordings. This includes what I'm about to commit tonight. And also, don't tell Miguel about this. If you do, I’ll insert a nasty virus that you’ll never recover from. Do I make myself clear?

L.Y.L.A.: *Nods silently and disappears*

Then [Y/N] steps into the room, observing the unfamiliar surrounding and proceeds to drop off the reports. Afterwards, she searches through his desk and found notes explaining some unethical experiments.

[Y/N]: Genetically modified arachnids? O'Hara, what are you playing with? *Snaps most of the notes with her phone*

[Y/N] took more images of the arachind species displayed in the office and neatly places everything back in order. She leaves the room quickly and returns home like nothing happened.

Nights passed since that event, Spider-Woman swings around the city. The breeze hitting her face as being shielded behind her mask, performing the duties as presumably the only hero people are protected by and all seems normal. Until she encounters another problem.

Spider-Woman: *Lands on the wall and sneakily crawls into a safe space to relax a little* Oh my god, that bastard is playing like if he’s God. No worries, he’s just a pawn I’ll knock down.

Then her Spider-Sense is triggered.

Spider-Woman: Shit, someone’s here. *Hides in the shadows*

As Spider-Woman peeks out, she sees a menacingly tall figure stood with his back turn to her view. Dark, skin-tight blue suit with intimidating crimson accents.

Spider-Woman: “Who is he? Wait, that can’t be him, right? I know that backside from anywhere. Ugh, why did I acknowledge the details?"

The crime fighter escapes through the shadows and swings away from the scene.

Back at ALCHEMAX located in a temporary office, the bioengineer herself couldn’t sleep much since the discovery from that night. She knew the man back at the late hour during one of her patrols. It was none other than Miguel because everything was connected from the notes, catalogs of species, and everything to manipulate nature itself, especially the human kind. While lost in thought, [Y/N] didn’t notice someone behind her…

“[Y/N]?”

[Y/N]: *Spider-Sense triggered and quickly turns around* WHAT?!

Villain!Miguel: *Little surprised* You didn’t have to be that tense with me.

[Y/N]: I…I’m just tired from working long hours. Are you here discussing about the project or to annoy me again?

Villain!Miguel: It’s about the project. Stone requested that before it’s finished...

Miguel's voice in [Y/N]'s perspective became mudded as she couldn't stop thinking of that night when it was obvious that the other Spider is in front of her.

♦️🔷🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸��🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️ 🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🔷♦️

Later at night, Spider-Woman was out patrolling as always, shooting her webs to grapple onto buildings as she swings through her beloved city. Then trouble arose as she witness citizens running away from the source.

Spider-Woman: *Lands on the side of a tower and scans the area* Great, Doc Ock came back. *Leaps off and swings in scene*

Spider-Woman reaches to the chaos her notorious nemesis created. She lands in front of the eight-legged former scientist.

Spider-Woman: I thought you were sent to prison, for help.

Doc Ock: They mean nothing to me. All I want is to show who’s boss and why they shouldn’t have!ignored everything I worked hard for!

Spider-Woman: Ock, we…I would have helped you with another way but your actions killed innocent lives.

Doc Ock: *Scoffs* They were in the way.

Spider-Woman: *Pissed* In the way?! *Shoots webs behind Doc Ock*

The webs attach to a wrecked vehicle and Spider-Woman yanks them towards Doc Ock.

Doc Ock: *Blocks the attack by caging themselves with their mechanical appendages*

Spider-Woman: *Wraps more webs around the tentacles*

However Doc Ock breaks free from their bonds and swings their tendrils, attempting to swat at the arachnid figure. Spider-Woman leaps backwards, performing backflips and throwing some Web-Bombs at the mechanical cephalopod. They become stuck in place due to the blown-out silk.

Spider-Woman: Doc, you need to return back to your cell.

Doc Ock: *Struggling to escape* Never…I rather die than be directed by anyone.

Spider-Woman: *Sighs* Just return back. We already caused enough damage for today.

As she was about to finish catching the villain, another criminal was on the loose. Spider-Woman’s sense was triggered but it was too late, the other figure swoops in, able to knock the spider hero. She braces herself and crashes into a wall.

Spider-Woman: *Plops down and barely moving* G-Goblin! You two are working together? *Struggles to get up*

Goblin: *Smiles sinisterly* Bingo! Octco was merely distracting you.

Spider-Woman: *Able to sit up but was kick down by Goblin*

Goblin: Now I get to squish this pesky spider~

Before Goblin could end the heroism of Spider-Woman, they were yanked back by more web.

Spider-Woman: “Neon red? He’s here. Wait, feeling limp…Fuck, passing out…”

[Y/N] shoots up awake, breathing steadily as she looks around the foreign setting. It seems like a bedroom and looking down, her suit is gone replaced with a university shirt and some shorts.

She gets quickly got out of bed and rush out of the room. Walking quickly on the chill wooden flooring and looking for someone. Then, she stops at an office where her worst nightmare sits behind the desk.

[Y/N]: O’Hara? No, wait, I should address you as that other web-crawler.

Villain!Miguel: You finally figured out. Congrats.

[Y/N]: I already know it’s you because of your backside. Who else has a muscular back shaped like the discontinued Doritos?

Villain!Miguel: And who else was acting too suspicious when I already know you’re Spider-Woman?

[Y/N]: You already know my other identity?

Villain!Miguel: Of course I know. I sense you, by your scent.

[Y/N]: You smelled me?! I need a minute.

♦️🔷🕷️🕸️[Hours Later]🕸️🕷️🔷♦️

[Y/N]: *Carefully sips some tea Miguel brewed for her*

Villain!Miguel: Calm down?

[Y/N]: *Sighs* Yeah, I’m good. Disturbed, but good. When did you get your powers, O’Hara?

Villain!Miguel: I had experimented on myself a couple months back. When did you get yours?

[Y/N]: ...

Villain!Miguel: Heh, won't confess? Guess I'll force it out of you~

[Y/N]: Do that and I'll force something up your ass.

Villain!Miguel: *Laughs a little* This is one of the many things I love about you.

[Y/N]: *Sighs* I was bit by a spider that was genetically modified back in my company. My director put me in charge of developing more advacned medicines to help people. Somehow, one of the specimens escaped from its enclosure and you know the rest. I'm Nueva York's only Spider-Hero, until you came along as an invasive pest.

Villain!Miguel: Where did you even get these spiders?

[Y/N]: Some biologists and other specialists procured these kinds of species, but why am I telling you this? I have a mission to fulfill.

Villain!Miguel: What mission?

[Y/N]: It’s none of your business. Personal matters for me, only.

Villain!Miguel: Fine. Then you don’t mind explaining these.

Miguel pulls out [Y/N]’s suit and gadgets he held up. He got a hold of them when the bioengineer was resting from the last battle.

Villain!Miguel: Voice modifier. You really know how to hide your identity.

[Y/N]: O’Hara, this isn’t for show n’ tell. I need my suit back and my gadgets too.

Villain!Miguel: I can’t let you go yet. I need to know more about your powers.

[Y/N]: Miguel, this isn’t the time for jokes. I have a mission and you’re in the way.

Villain!Miguel: Tell me what’s your mission and maybe I’ll hand everything back.

[Y/N]: I’m not explaining until you give my stuff back.

Villain!Miguel: *Smirks and he levels his face to hers* Make me~

[Y/N]: *Punches his stomach hard*

Villain!Miguel: *Crouches down and lets go of [Y/N]’s gadgets and suit*

[Y/N]: *Quickly gatherings her belongings and exits out of the apartment*

That evening, Spider-Woman was swinging around the city. Leaping from one building to the next skyscraper as she tries to formulate another plan to get rid of Miguel. Safely landing on the rooftop of an apartment complex, [Y/N] removed her mask to get some fresh air. Viewing the city helps her to relax and keep calm.

Spider-Woman: *Spider Senses triggered* What now, O’Hara? *Turns her direction towards his*

Spider-Man: *Lifts his hands up* I just followed you.

Spider-Woman: Followed me? *Turns off her modifier* Did you smell me like a blood hound?! Tracking me down and other creepy shit you do.

Spider-Man: ‘Course not. I put a tracker on you.

Spider-Woman: *Finds the tracker and smashes it to bits* What do you want from me?

Spider-Man: I just want to understand why are you doing this. Why’d you have a vendetta against me?

Spider-Woman: You wouldn’t understand, Miguel.

Spider-Man: I know I don’t. Just tell me why?

Spider-Woman: Want to know why? Fine. I’m only doing this to get back at your father for killing my parents. I’ve planned everything just to bring his empire down, along with his prodigy of a monster. I dedicated my life and education to destroy everything Stone built and tear his family apart so no one else can be harmed by them.

Spider-Man: I’m not like my father. I was never like him.

Spider-Woman: Will you shut it? Just like that murderer, you decide to hide everything from the public for your own gain. I’m giving back what people deserve to know.

Spider-Man: *Feels a painful string from that comment* [Y/N], you don’t have to do this.

Spider-Woman: *Scoffs* Oh, please! I know you’re eyeing me the whole time because you assumed I’m a spy, right?

Spider-Man: “No, I thought you are the most beautiful woman I ever met and wishing to have you with me forever. ㅜ_ㅜ”

Spider-Woman: *Sighs* Miguel, just stay away from me. We’re only coworkers by day, not close after hours. Don’t want you ruining everything. *Shoots her web and swings off*

A week has passed, the two are founded in the most uncomfortable atmosphere. [Y/N], still keeping her word of only communicating with Miguel for work while the mad man himself, he didn’t try anything to disturb the other. Colleagues and other workers already knew something happened between them. And it’s a first to see Miguel in a much depressive state.

At the end of the day, there aren’t any crimes to solve and the bioengineer took this as a night off from her responsibilities for now. Then, someone came to visit.

[Y/N]: *Holding up her phone* What are you doing here?

“Villain”!Miguel: *Sighs* Here. *Holds out a thumb drive* It’s most of the data of ALCHEMAX’s illegal projects.

[Y/N]: *Looks at him suspiciously and carefully takes the thumb drive* You know I’ll be running this if it’s untraceable and hopefully you’re not tricking me.

“Villain”!Miguel: I’m not. Why’d you have to be so cold?

[Y/N]: I don’t trust you, that’s why. You’re Stone’s son and heard from former workers that you were evil enough to force them to participate in dangerous trials. It proves my judgement on you is true.

“Villain”!Miguel: …What if I prove you wrong?

[Y/N]: What?

“Villain”!Miguel: I’ll prove I’m not bad.

[Y/N]: Really? Would that undo the years of torment you caused?

“Villain”!Miguel: No. I can do better. Just give me a chance.

[Y/N]: “I don’t know. He’s probably using this as an advantage against me. Better not let my guard down. Though, he’ll be more persistent if he continues.” Fine, are you willing to put your own father behind bars?

“Villain”!Miguel: If it shows I’m good, yeah.

[Y/N]: “It takes time to gain my trust, you freaky-ass man.”

As months pass, the atmosphere surrounding the two scientists feels lighter. The duo seemed to communicate better without much disdain though they sometimes quarrel and in their case, [Y/N] would be the one to walk away from the conversation to cool off but is always followed by a 6'9 semi-former mad scientist like if he was a dog worried about his fuming owner.

[Y/N]: Dr. O'Hara, would you stop following me? And quit hugging me, I'm working.

"Villain"!Miguel: *Holds her closer to his chest* No. I feel better staying with you.

Some of their colleagues are questioning their dynamic.

"What’s happening with Dr. O'Hara?”

“You think he finally lost his mind?”

“Don’t know, but I think Dr. [L/N] has something to do with his behavior.”

[Y/N]: O’Hara, people are talking about us. Let me go.

“Villain”!Miguel: So? Let ‘em. At least they know not to bother us.

[Y/N]: “Ugh. Such a clingy man.”

In the duration of their time together, the two Spiders were able to gather evidence of Stone’s future plans and defeat other villains connected to him, bringing down the corrupted empire. With his presence gone, someone else would have to take over his position which leads to Miguel filling in the role.

[Y/N]: Well, our collaboration has finished just as Stone is taken custody for his crimes. This means we’ll not see each other as much.

“Villain”!Miguel: Yeah, that’s right.

[Y/N]: It was pleasant working with you while it lasted. Hopefully we’ll work together in the future. *Remains professional but has a sadden look in her eyes*

Before she can leave, Miguel stopped her tracks.

“Villain”!Miguel: Wait. If you’re okay with this, could I buy you a drink? If you’re alright with that. I know it doesn’t make up what happened to you and everything my father did to hurt your family. I want to be better for you and do everything I can to help make your life easier-

[Y/N]: Miguel, stop. With everything we went through these past months of cooperating with our projects for making the future better and safer while stopping your father, I’ll take my chances going out with you.

“Villain”!Miguel: [Y/N]… *Gently holds her hands* Gracias, for trusting me to take you out.

The months after the confession, [Y/N] still works for her company while Miguel runs ALCHEMAX by his own terms. Changing for the better of his employees and botches out the illegal activities Stone left after his arrest. Everything seems to be the same, though the only thing that has evolve were Nueva York’s heroes working as partners and lovers…

[5 years later]

[Y/N]: …And they lived happily together for the rest of their lives.

Gabriella: Woah…Love does change people.

[Y/N]: *Smiles warmly* It does. Now… *Tucks her daughter in* It’s bed time, sweetheart.

Gabriella: What happened to the couple?

[Y/N]: I’m sure they’re enjoying life together and keeping each other loved.

♦️🔷🕷️🕸️[Later]🕸️🕷️🔷♦️

[Y/N]: Gabi’s asleep. Miguel, I’m worried.

Miguel: What’s there to worry about?

[Y/N]: Our daughter could have our powers, but the side effects…What if they hurt our baby?

Miguel: Cariño, there’s no worry. I checked and she won’t have to suffer.

[Y/N]: Still, I don’t want her to feel as if the powers are a curse.

Miguel: We’ll do everything we can to help her. Be there for her.

[Y/N]: You’re right. We need to be by her side.

Miguel: Sí, we’ll support her. Hey, maybe we’ll give her some “enforcements” to cheer for her. *Giving her a knowing look*

[Y/N]: *Understood the innuendo* Miguel, I was still sore from our first time. Despite having powers, you ravaged me like a demon in heat.

Miguel: Thought you needed a day off at that time.

[Y/N]: *Deadpans at him* -_- I had to call in sick for the next three days.

Miguel: Then Gabi wouldn’t exist if we didn’t.

[Y/N]: *Sighs* At least it was on a Saturday. Come on, it’s your turn patrolling. Maybe after you come back, we’ll talk about siblings if Gabi is okay with it.

Miguel: *Gets thrilled hearing a possibility of growing his family* I’ll get to it.

[Y/N]: Okay. Just come back in one piece. *Kisses on his lips* And still breathing. I love you.

Miguel: *Smiles down at her* Love you, too.

[THE END]

[Tagged]: @mrsoharaa @lazyjellyfish300 @hao-ming-8 @greensagephase @queenoftiddies @kenjioharashotspot

[A/N]: FINALLY! I FINISHED THIS PIECE THAT’S BEEN IN MY DRAFT FOR MONTHS! Yes, I wrote Villain!Miguel as if he was a neglected puppy who wants to be with the feisty kitten (The [Reader]). But it adds flavor for a Hero x Villain trope. I tried to write the reader as someone who acts cold, but with boundaries they put up for valid reasons. The kind of traits like Viper from Valorant. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this story.

💙🕷️❤️Reblogs help creators and creates more content💙🕷️❤️

#Marvel #Spider-Man: Across The Spiderverse #Across The Spiderverse #ATSV #Spider-Man 2099 #Miguel O’Hara #Villain!Miguel #Villain!Miguel x Reader #Villain!Miguel x Hero!Reader #Spider-Man 2099 x reader #Miguel O’Hara x reader #Across The Spiderverse x reader #ATSV x reader

156 notes · View notes

daisybell17 · 1 year ago

Text

Dancing with Loki hc’s:

“Alright the food is on the way…eughhhh I’m so tired” You fall onto the couch and closing your eyes for a second

“Gods me too…This week was something was so damn frustrating” Loki huffed out as he laid his back on the floor and ran his hands through his hair

There was a short silence as you both laid there in exhaustion

Loki sits up and looks at you “You want me to put on some music?”

“Not really…i feel like i’m going to fall asleep” Slurring your words as you slowly drift off

“But if we fall asleep now we might be up till late”

“I don’t care let me sleep” You murmured back

You hear Loki laugh to himself

He then tapped your forehead and you look up to see his tired expression, handing you a glass of water “You haven’t drank since you got home half an hour ago”

You smile and take the glass, finishing it entirely in mere seconds

“Cmon let’s danceeee, it will wake us up a little before the food gets here”

“hmmm noooo! please just let me rest” You groan, slamming your face with a pillow

Instead of leaving you alone to rest Loki had turned the speaker on, blasting some modern Asgardian music

“Loki turn it off pleaaeeeee” He didn’t listen and instead started dancing

You removed the pillow from your face and watch as your goofball of a boyfriend started putting his heart and soul into the silliest and goofiest dance moves you have ever witnessed

Smiling at his impressive moves you watched as Loki danced to the music

(ik yall have seen the behind the scenes of Loki S1 where Tom us busting some moves, so just imagine the same thing)

As the song ends and another pop song comes on, A midgardian one now, he extends his hand out, inviting you to dance

You smile and shake your head as you are still so genuinely tired

“Oh cmon darling! don’t leave me hanging now”he pouts at you but continues to shake his hips from side to side

You watch as he tries his best to get you up, but now you give in, moving your shoulders a little

His face lights up as you start moving a little…he grabs your hand and yanks you up, pulling you close to his chest. Staring into his eyes you smile and he twirled you around.

Laughing as you spun, you both started dancing to the cheesy pop song. You love this. Everything. Every time you’re with Loki. Every moment with him felt like you could swim, even when everything tries to drown you

The song comes to an end and you both are panting, exhausted from dancing.

Collapsing back onto the sofa, you continue to catch your breath when…”We can keep the christmas lights up till January”

“And this is our place, we make the rules”

Its you and Loki’s song

Opening your eyes, your met with a blushing Loki, hand reaching out to yours

Grabbing his hand, you stand and put your chest against his

“And there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear” Loki locks his eyes onto yours, his right hand on your waist, the other holding your hand, interlocking both your fingers

You both sway from side to side as the song continues to play, he swears you are the most perfect being in all of the nine realms, hell, the entire universe in fact, you were his, he was yours

“Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?…Can I go where you go” Loki twirls you around as the chorus starts playing, pulling you back in as face him again.

You rest your head on his chest and smile, enjoying this simple moment of love

“Can we always be this close forever and ever?” Loki leans you back, kissing you deeply. You grab his jaw, pulling him deeper. You stay like this for a moment before he pulls you back up and goes back to slow dancing, swaying you both side to side, twirling you here and there

“And ah, take me out, and take me home” He pushes you back onto the couch ever so slightly

He kisses you deep, hands on your waist, your own hands running through his beautiful hair. Oh his beautiful hair.

His knees presses in between your legs as his lips trail down your neck, marking you up, marking his pretty girl up with kisses

“You’re my, my, my, my…Lover” “L-Loki mhmph…” You call his name out as you become sensitive

The doorbell rang. Foods here! and things were just getting good…You push Loki off and grab the money to pay.

Setting the food down on the counter, you start unpacking the takeout packages when suddenly Loki grabs you by the waist

“Oh my darling not just yet, I want to dance some more…oh and! mark your pretty little body up before we eat…”

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(a/n): hope yall enjoyed this! ik it’s been awhile but a lot of things have been happening in my life and i’m just doing my best to relax for a bit! Also Loki S2 Ep1 was amazing!!

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secretagentsociety · 2 years ago

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loves makes people crazy

yandere dragon X madly in love reader

Here's another idea,a yandere dragon like all powerful and scary the villager is scared of him,the king is scared of him,the Wizards and pretty much everyone and their grandmother is scared of him but then there's you,you different breed of a human decides to see him for the first time and say "yes that's my hubby" and the rest is history

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• people often called you crazy, dilusional and others not so nice insults for being still not being married despite hitting the big 2 0 that and also rejecting the local lords and basically anyone who tries to court you

• now just because people say it doesn't mean you HAVE to follow it yk?oh but you did you played their little fantasy of you being crazy so perfectly people were honestly scared for your mental well being,why?you may ask

• well it's because when khum first arrived at the village (I say first but it's really his 100th time terrorising the village) you decide to whisper something that some people might have heard "he's perfect" you said eyes filled with hearts watching him scaring the sht out of the locals

• honestly you're staring so much he could feel you boring holes into his head,curious he looked around for whoever it is that dared to stare at him for so long and BAM! He saw you,at first he thought you're staring at him in contempt or anger maybe both but then you sigh lovingly and waved at him a fools smile placed upon your face

• he had to look around and points at himself just to made sure he even mouthed "m-me? you're talking to me?!" But you blowing him a kiss and winking made it pretty clear it was him,well let's say after that he couldn't help but think about you "what an odd human" he thought

• "oh my god haven't you heard?! The dragons visit has been so frequent lately our village can't keep affording the rebuilding cost!" One of the villagers said,you aren't paying attention but just hearing him coming back more and more made your heart flutter "I know it's a blessing" you sighed melting into the seat as you remembered the first time he talks to you

•well it happened,khum stood Infront of you folding his hand,what is his plans anyway?kidnapping a human all of a sudden,a weird one at that,"human,do you have a name?" He said

• "you can call me yours,and I'll call you mine" you said "how about the name....treasure?no too basic maybe clove?nah um.....oh darling?" he said tilting his head,khum never thought one day he'd witness a human visibly explode and faint but here we was

• it was a rocky start to the relationship,well...rocky as in everything was so perfect it's scary, here's the recap,on day five of your kidnappings you've opened up to how the villagers had been treating you(not that it's hard to make you open up,all he had to do was give you food and call you pet names while stroking your head and bam! you're dumping your entire trauma onto him) and oh boy was he not happy

• now despite everything he's still a classy dragon,he ofcourse had hoarse of treasure but he also had a pretty nice castle he may or may not seize from a royal you don't have to know that tho so moving on,and with a huge castle come servants and with those come soldiers who needs to maintain security,not that he needs any but you know he likes to have thing's completed and that including the castles needs

• now when his subordinates first saw you absolutely gushing on how cute he was they were absolutely shocked,because one he literally look like a demon ripping out people's heart and two this isn't some flower field it's a grusome battle scene yet you couldn't help but blush when his shirt got torn off,you even closed your eyes to savor the moment after a while

• khum really can't understand your fixation on him,is it like his love for you?but even then he acknowledges your weird behaviour but you literally looked at him as if he was a god,not that he minds,he gotta admit that day he kinda wore a shirt that's a couple of size down so when he does some movements that needs intents flexibility his shirt would rip off in some cool cinematic style,it worked,it worked too well

• so apparently his stamina had their limits he'd come to know it last Night after the battle,oh but the details won't be necessary,oh but don't be fooled if he were to actually try you'd be the one to pass out

• now is he dilusional?nope he knows full well that it's not healthy but does he care?nope he's a powerful dragon,are you dilusional?maybe?...idk...probably....yes?.... Well he is cute so I'll give you that

• he is possesive, but it's really hard to show possesive when the person he loved won't look at other people,you will talk to people normally but once he entered your line of sight the other people can forget ever having a conversation with you

• now for the big question does this technically make you a yandere? maybe..yes.

•i feel the need to say he is 100% taller than you, I'm sorry but it's just the rules 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

• yes he has two pp lets move on now

• he had a way of marking you so other beasts knows to back the fuck off it's called biting,the first night you ever discover the chamber of secrets together(wink wink nudge nudge)he bit down on your neck,it leaves a pretty little flower mark that's imbued with his power it's very very very tiny teeny I cannot stress enough how tiny it is so it's safe

• now if you EVER even say someone else is cute then oh boi oh my,now I have established that he is jealous have I?,no?well too bad because he is,and his jealousy doesn't play nice,he will rip out the heart and torture the person over and over and over each time reviving them again and again and put a curse of Resurrection on them only to leave them in a forest of ravaging beasts that has lost their minds to be feasted upon and tortured until he sees them having suffered enough. ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ Moral of the story? don't just don't say anyone is cute (yes not even babies) (he won't like k.o them but he will like curse them or sum sht )

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on that note good night people

#yandere dragon #Yandere X reader #tw yandere #yandere monster x reader #Yandere dragon X reader #yandere x yandere #yandere oc x reader #yandere x willing reader #Dear god why is tagging so frustrating?#monster fic

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acourtofthought · 7 months ago

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New Anti Take:

Rhys about Feyre:

Nesta about Feyre:

Nesta about Elain:

Feyre about Elain:

Cassian to Nesta:

Azriel about Elain:

But sure, it's so terrible to imagine Elain ending up being friends with a guy who said this:

while he was pretending to be the bad guy but went on to prove it was an act while providing them information that helped them save many lives. Who ended up becoming good friends with Elain's mate, the guy he made the comment to. Lucien who is almost certain to have a POV which means Jurian will be heavily featured.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anti's getting so furious over the BOE (which includes Elain's mate) being more connected to the same plots that Elain is connected to than the twins, being given way more dialogue, purpose and backstory than the wraiths have been given, being more connected to Elain's father than Nuala and Cerridwen have ever been (and the entire reason we theorize Elain's story will involve them) is the craziest new argument I've seen in a long time.

I'm not wanting anything, I'm simply following the authors bread trail of crumbs. The funniest thing is that when anti's claim we dislike them because of our ship it's inaccurate because Nuala and Cerridwen aren't a threat to the Elucien ship the way the BOE are to e/riels. They have never actually interacted on page with Az in the entirety of the series, he never once refers to them by name (funny how my anon accused me of this very same thing). Elain could end up with Lucien and the wraiths could still play a big role in her book. They are not heavily connected to Az beyond his training them ages ago and their "work" for he and Rhys but it's only ever mentioned in the background, never something we see play out. We actually witnessed Az training / speaking to Gwyn and going on a spy mission with Cassian yet we've never been given a scene where Az says "I'll send Nuala and Cerridwen out to gather information for me" or "I'll take the twins".

Elain needs to shine in her own pov so the wraiths would never be the ones leading the pack, they would be there to serve Elain's character growth which they could do regardless of her LI.

The reason I don't theorize them doing so (beyond them maintaining a casual friendship) is Sarah hasn't given me any reason to think that's where she's headed.

Lucien and Tamlin were / are friends.

Feyre and Lucien become friends.

Celaena became friends with Dorian.

Celaena became friends with Chaol.

Nesta became close with Amren.

Nobody is denying these friendships exist however it cannot be disputed that the nature of the friendships changed over the course of the series. It cannot be disputed that those friendships (while lasting) did not prevent the main characters from leaving a certain place and building a life elsewhere, making new friends along the way.

Why would Elain be any different?

#elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #the band of exiles #band of exiles #jurian acotar #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #anti e/riel #elain x lucien

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sweetbottletops · 5 months ago

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A new interview with the creators of the drama was published ahead of episode 6. They talk about how they approached selecting the project, working with the mangaka, being respectful of the lesbian community, casting the two MCs...

Below I MTL'd a few things I found interesting but the whole thing is worth reading on your own.

About the Adaptation

Kamiura: First of all, I talked a lot to find out how sensei thinks about her work. Personally, I don't think it's necessary a live-action adaptation that is faithful to the original work to shoot all the frames in the same way with exactly the same angle of view, and I thought it was more important to dictate the same spirituality, so I valued the friction between them.

Sensei also told me that the times have changed since the original work was written, so I would like people to value the values of today. The common theme of the production team was to create an entertaining GL work from a Japanese drama, while placing importance on the viewer's perspective...

Osugi: From the beginning of the project, I was very conscious of my involvement in the project and discussed it with Kamiura. For example, we used bars that are actually run by lesbians on location, had lesbian influencers appear in the first episode, and had Sal Jiang and Mori host lesbians and sexual minorities. We made efforts to have them speak at events.

About Casting

Kamiura: Regarding Kato-san, I have seen her in her previous works, but especially when she was active in variety shows, singing shows, YouTube, etc., and her everyday appearance is exactly like Ayaka-chan. I thought it would be a perfect fit, so I approached her.

In fact, although she is very serious and passionate at the core, she also has a charm that makes you unable to take your eyes off her, not knowing what she will say next, and I think she is a treasure trove.

What I think she has in common with Ayaka-chan is that she has strong roots and a strong core. She is a very cool woman who has the courage to confront her head-on without cutting corners even in a play. She may seem like a fluffy and cute person, but she is extremely athletic, has an excellent sense of comedy, and is quick-witted and kind enough to instantly lighten the mood even in times of trouble. She is truly a clever person who can do anything. I have the impression that it is.

Kamiura: I've seen [Mori Kanna] in many works over the years, but if anything, I think Kanna has a cool and charming appearance that she usually has, and her overwhelming charm as a woman who is popular with women. I thought you were the only person there, so I called out to you.

I think that Hiroko-senpai has exactly the charm that I had thought of, "I want to see Mori Kanna-san like this!", and I would like to see this scene of Hiroko-senpai in Kanna-san's play. I am grateful that you have realized this with a higher resolution than I could have imagined.

She has a very deep love for Hiroko, and she has taken into account our thoughts regarding this dramatization, and has diligently studied the lesbian community in which Hiroko-senpai has found herself. I believe that many things have come true this time because of that love.

Read the entire piece here.

#ayaka is in love with hiroko #sal jiang #japanese drama

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pavardscherie · 2 years ago

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— if we ever meet again ;; part two

⤷ summary: you were a player on the female team of bayern münchen but transferred for a better chance. your relationship with benjamin ended because he couldn't handle the distance from munich to dortmund. once, you meet again, and you have a new partner, things get complicated again. ⤷ warnings: mature themes, angst, fluff, hurt & comfort, break-ups, a hint at depression, heartbreak, confused reader, cheating ⤷ izzy talks: the second part is finally here?? i mean, i took so long and I'm so freaking sorry or that but i just had those lovely writer blocks. like too many times :(

you knew you shouldn’t be here. but how was it possible to deny an injured lucas hernandez a wish?

tickets for a very much vip seat in the front of the stands, exactly what you imagined he would torture you with. if it wouldn’t be enough to see benjamin play today, you would have to witness the mood changes and how attractive he looked especially in the bright crimson-red for at least ninety minutes.

but it also happened to be the perfect timing to take out the dusty red jacket from the far right corner of your wardrobe. the emblem of bayern munich sewed on the front, left side and the initials of your name underneath it. the times were beautiful, welcomed by the entire team and loved by many. yet, your journey led you into the arms of the enemy club.

“there she is, our golden girl.” lucas’ french accent mixed with the german words caused a spark of amusement inside of you. it was always rather hilarious to listen to him, ranting about a match and mixing french with german. it almost reminded you of benjamin.

hands deeply in the pockets of the thick jacket, the cold weather made it difficult to stand still on the spot. you turned, opening the arms quickly to greet an injured lucas and the two men, which accompanied him. manuel neuer, hidden underneath a baseball cap and still in the healing process of broken bones, and behind him, strolled a carefree defender. benjamin pavard.

“what the hell?” you pointed at the number five of the bayern munich team, shocked about seeing him in the stands. “why are you here?”

“what a nice way to greet a friend.” benjamin retorted, rolling the eyes. a sarcastic smile tugged on the corners of his mouth, casually overplaying the surprise he felt. lucas didn’t mention your appearance with one word.

“no, i didn’t mean it like that. it’s like, well, shouldn’t you be on the field? like you know, playing with the team because you’re on the team?” you rambled on and on, gesturing wildly through the cold air with one hand.

the entire scene broke out in a wave of amusement. at least for lucas and manuel, who watched the awkwardness unfold.

“can’t.” ben shrugged the shoulders nonchalantly, tilting the head to the side to watch the warm up of the two teams. psg, the return match.

eyebrows raised, confusion twisted in your facial expression. there were multiple reasons why he could not be on the pitch tonight but benjamin didn’t give a reason to his statement. “he’s suspended. two yellow cards.” lucas explained with a chuckle, patting the shoulder of his best friend.

“a second bookable offense?” your brows furrowed, recalling the past matches of bayern munich you have seen. yet, you didn’t recall one where benjamin was sent off the pitch. “against who?”

“psg.” benjamin’s gaze drifted, landing on the gentle features of your face, twisted in a deep confusion. “made a very stupid pass and risked the leveler. had to stop the ball or messi, kind of ended with me completely slide-tackling him down and receiving the second card.”

“tackling lionel messi is something you can’t do every single day. and not many have the courage to even go against him like that. so, good job, benji.” showing him a thumbs up for the action, you smiled at him. but the way, his name sounded like a beautiful melody the moment you spoke it, made his heart skip a beat. it slipped past your lips nonchalantly, but had such an effect on him.

gulping down the mixture of spit and air in his tightened throat, benjamin tilted the head away from your angelic features. the smallest smile could be his downfall, and the painful memories would gnaw on his heart again. exactly what he didn’t need today. the upcoming game and it’s importance was already nerve wrecking enough for the suspended defender.

the shift in his behavior didn’t go unnoticed. but lucas promised himself to make it work between the two of you for a second time. stepping to the side, he sat down in one of the more comfortable seats, reserved for the vip guests while manuel settled down in the one on your left. leaving, much to benjamin’s demise, the two middle ones open for you and him.

while the referee, his assistants and the captain of each team met in the middle of the pitch, benjamin sat down and scooted closer to lucas’ side. unfortunately for him, you witnessed how he wiggled further away from you while sitting down. the emptiness in your stomach returned, and this time, it added a heavy feeling. you wanted to run away, forget about how he casually kept the conversation with you short, and would even rather sit in hernandez lap than close to you.

what you didn’t know was, that ben already reminisced. the scent of cherry blossom and a faint vanilla infiltrated his nostrils, your favorite perfume lingered in the air and it drove him crazy. he did not remember how often he bought a new bottle of it, just to exchange the empty one and surprise you with the thoughtful gesture.

both teams proved their value and excellence while the first half went on. manuel muttered multiple curse words when the ball flew past the goal, and another attempt of increasing the score of the first match failed. on your right side, lucas and benjamin engaged in a conversation mixed with german and french words. it was calm in the stands except the hardcore fans of bayern munich. they never stopped chanting their lyrics, clapping and playing the drum.

you were completely focused on the match, watching the players of bayern munich take control over the game. comfortably leaned back in the chair, legs crossed over one another, you pulled your hands out of the warm pockets of your jacket and placed them on the armrests.

manicured nails didn’t touch the soft material of the chair, instead your soft fingertips stroke over the veiny backhand of the one person sitting on your right. just a couple of seconds ago, benjamin retreated to a normal seating position and draped his arms over the rest. as soon as he felt the lingering touch of soft fingertips, he pulled his arm away.

the small touch, the seconds of being able to be close to benjamin again, created shivers up your arms. a feeling, you should not have anymore after finding another partner and slowly moving on from the past. exactly where the defender should belong.

benjamin sat straight in his seat. any thoughts about the game vanished and his mind went completely blank. he wanted to feel your warmth again after the long hug a couple of weeks ago. yet, he knew it was impossible after seeing the loving interactions between you and your new boyfriend for the rest of the night. the small glances in his direction were created by his imagination, at least it was what benjamin thought.

„aye manu, let’s get drinks for the group.“ lucas shouted past the pair of ex lovers towards the goalkeeper, waving his hand repeatedly. the breath you just inhaled, got stuck in your windpipe as your throat painfully tightened. the thought of being alone with benjamin in the middle of the arena made it extremely difficult to focus at all.

he clouded your mind, and easily erased any other thought. even the fact that your boyfriend was at work, and waited in dortmund for your return tomorrow. the two males disappeared faster than wanted at all, leaving you in an uncomfortable silence.

being around him was toxic for your relationship. the curve of his lips threatened the steady connection between you and your boyfriend. the way his scent infiltrated your nostrils and clouded your mind completely. the images of your boyfriend’s face vanished. a long gaze into his promising, hickory coloured eyes pulled you deeper under his spell again.

for a second time, you experienced the anxiety of being close to benjamin. small parts of him that twisted your mind until his name and his features were the last thought. there was no escape from falling madly, there never was for you after ben confessed, he never gave up the last spark of hope.

„you can avoid me but ignoring me is kind of harsh.“ you remarked about his behavior towards you while holding a conversation. without lucas‘ interference, you still would question why benjamin wasn’t present on the pitch. „looking at you makes me weak.“ he replied, keeping his gaze on the empty pitch after the referee ended the first half.

your stomach twisted around a feeling which was hard to define. discomfort about being his weakness, surprise about what you still did to him or even bashfulness about the sweet confession. it was indescribable and deep. „what do you mean?“ you needed an answer. a clear statement to identify what kind of feeling occupied your empty stomach.

„it doesn’t matter.“ benjamin shrugged his shoulder as if he attempted to brush off the topic of the conversation for a second time. he never gave a clear statement, or truly said the words that occupied his mind. the unbearable desire of kissing you deeply, losing himself once more to your soft touch, and giving up the control over his broken heart. you could mend the pieces, puzzle it back together but it would fall apart again, when you drove to your new home. the arms of your boyfriend.

grief dominated benjamin's broken self, the confidence he showed, only a cold mask to hide his emotions. you reached out for him, wanting to have the conversation badly and mend the pieces, he left destroyed. but when merely your fingertips grazed over the wrinkled fabric of his sweater, benjamin reacted way too quickly and scooted further towards lucas‘ empty seat. lips pulled into a frown, the distance made it difficult to believe that even the slightest spark was left. you should not feel defeated by a failed attempt after being the one that clearly moved on with someone new. yet, you could not get benjamin and his sweet attitude out of your mind. the minutes of the halftime break ticked away, the players already walked back onto the field, talking to each other and their coach about the tactics and techniques they planned.

"it was never meant to end like this, you know that, benjamin."

oh, how his name rolled so perfectly off the tip of your tongue. perfectly spoken, perfectly emphasized. so sweet, his heart wanted to jump out of his chest. fingertips dug into the soft, red leather of the seat, attempting to resist the desire to touch you, hug you, just feel you again in some way. the referee's whistle echoed through the allianz arena, announcing the second half of the important game against paris saint-germain. at the same time, manuel carefully walked through the row to reach his seat on your left, and handed you one of the cups filled with cola.

and while lucas returned, smiling widely at the two ex-lovers, benjamin muttered a french sentence and pushed his body up to leave the stands. a cup in each hand, lucas tilted the head to watch after his best friend, confusion twisted in his features. the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach reminded you of his words, the statement he made, and a confession about how much your attendance bothered him. fingers closed around the bridge of your nose, the pads massaged the skin slightly as you tried to make a decision. following benjamin could lead to another heated argument, another moment you wanted to prevent and ruin the last, little piece of friendship or admiration that was left like a thin line between the two of you.

on the other hand, you did feel responsible for the undeniable change in benjamin's mood over the past minutes. it was impossible to ignore the fact, that your surprising appearance caused shyness and nervousness to wash over him. not being his usual self, the cheerful lad with a mixture of languages while trying to express his opinion. the slight edge to his words because of his accent, and the cute smile plastered across his face because he never met a level of endless sadness; at least at the times before you left. "i think i should look after him." lucas interrupted the trail of your thoughts, trying to point a hand over his shoulder but immediately failing with the cups tightly in his grip. leaning down towards the seats to place them in the prepared holders on each side, you mirrored his action. "maybe, i should go." you suggested, ignoring the doubts of making things much more complicated than needed.

instead of protesting, hernandez nodded his head repeatedly. after all, it was all along his plan to bring back together what belonged to each other. distance was a strong reason for a break up, but it was also not enough to decline the happiness, he was able to witness over months. while leaving for dortmund was your journey, you’ve taken any inch of benjamin’s heart with you.

without you, he forgot what the word love meant. without you, the happiness stopped glistening in his beautiful chestnut eyes. without you, the curl of his mouth was merely real; forced to satisfy the people around him and avoid questions would be a better choice of description. lucas’ attempts of inviting benjamin to a night out, to a couple of drinks to drown his sorrows, were declined without overthinking. losing you, and in the end even to another man, removed the colors of benji’s world so easily.

pushing past the crowds that gathered on the stairs, you caught benjamin’s gaze on the top of the section. calloused palms firmly placed against the barricade, staring down at the pitch with a stern expression. except for the pushed together brows, not even a muscle twitched until his eyes landed on your moving figure. a simple glance at you, ended in a fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach. butterflies spread, wanting to be felt deeply. turning away, benjamin never missed a match of his team, no matter if he was suspended or injured but this time, he did not carry enough bravery to stay and have a decent conversation with you.

it pained him immensely to have you by his side, and knowing the fact that you truly were not by his side anymore. the pain was deeply anchored inside of benjamin. anchored to his heart, demanding to be felt when he forced himself to at least glance at you. walking through the almost empty corridors, the whispering of the fans and the sound of his name being shouted by some drowned out as he marched towards to the catacombs. the locker room were the only place where he could find a minute to himself.

what he did not expect was how easily the guards let you through as well. once a bayern munich player, the securities always remembered the faces. the desire to find his old self again followed with each step like a dangerous shadow, a darkness that reminded him he was missing a piece to ever become whole again.

running his sweaty palms over his face, benjamin inhaled deeply to calm down the pulsating veins. the sweet smell of your perfume, the one he loved way too much, lingered still in his nostrils. five minutes away from you wasn't enough to forget the tempting offer to ravish you, love you, feel you for a second time. it grew with any given second, the tips of his fingers tickled as the desire rose to new highs. levels, he has never been at before.

maybe, he could compare it to the same mixture of feelings he went through, the first night he had you sprawled out on his king-sized bed. naked, legs spread and the wetness glistening in the dim light of the lamps. better than he imagined, and pushing him further into a love-filled haze as his fingertips danced over your heated skin. but right now, when benjamin was trying to forget how much he still adored, admired, and loved you, those thoughts bothered his mind more than usual. rough pads against his temples, he started to massage the tensed skin; a headache announcing itself through the slight, piercing pain.

alone in the corridors between the pitch and the locker room, the place benjamin visited too often during a game when the referee booked him for the fifth time or twice on the same day. he's been here, multiple times, but the ghost of you, the sweet glances glistening with undeniable innocence, has never haunted him before. when lucas informed him, that he was slowly breaking away from reality, benjamin did not believe the words, chuckling about such foolish conclusions. but he has been right about it as his thoughts were occupied by your gentle face.

„benjamin.“ you spoke ever-so-gently, the thick walls of the corridor carried your sweet words towards his ear. another time, you said his full name, the way he adored the sound of the syllables way too much. the desire, he could not deny anymore as his stomach twisted and turned with admiration.

while you stood there so beautifully, innocent written over your posture, benjamin wanted to curse you for putting another spell on him. for making it so difficult to fall out of love with you. for never being able to truly despise you for choosing your career over a relationship with him, because somewhere, in the furthest corner of his heart, he understood the decision.

„leave please.“ benjamin begged, turning his attention away from you and examining the white wall with the bayern emblem painted across the stones. one glance, one too long look at your pretty face, and he would falter immediately. he would go too far, make another mistake or even ravish you in the middle of the corridor. a spell, he couldn’t run away from since the day he met you.

„no, we have to talk.“ you insisted, declining him the choice of being left alone. for once, you weren’t sharing the same opinion. taking a step closer to his trembling and tensed figure, benjamin didn’t realize the invasion of his personal space as his back was turned towards you.

all he knew, was when he turned around, the breath he wanted to inhale, got stuck in his dry throat. you were so close again, so close he could smell the sweet perfume lingering on the smooth skin around your collarbones. a scent, he could easily get addicted to again.

and suddenly, he could not fight it anymore. body moving on its own, a large hand caressed over the side of your throat until it reached your neck. calloused palm pressed against the soft skin and baby hairs, fingertips carefully digging into the side as he closed his tight grip on you. benjamin was holding you in place, and carefully tilted your head further back. nose held high, hooded eyes staring straight into the alluring hazelnut swirls around his dilated pupils.

if you wouldn’t have known him better than anybody else, and could read through each stone-cold expression on his face, the glimpse of undeniable lust would have passed without notice. yet, it ignited a small flame in your stomach, a feeling, you almost forgot. dominance written in the way, his calloused digits handled the movement of your body so easily, so carefully and still so eagerly. „god, you’re too beautiful to resist.“ benjamin muttered ever so quietly, more to himself than complimenting you. but the inches between your faces decreased with any given second.

and suddenly, as time ticked away and the game continued, it seemed like everything moved in slow motion until the world stopped turning. the moment, benjamin‘s chewed up lips, overthinking his decision over a hundred times and his teeth always assaulting the sensitive skin, brushed over yours. softly, but ever so eagerly to close the last gap and take what has always been his. and so, he reacted for the first time in months without letting his head decline what the pounding heart wanted. ignoring the undeniable fact that you had someone waiting at home, a boyfriend who loved you dearly but could never give you what benjamin offered.

relief washed over you, the tensed muscles relaxed under the soft pressing of his lips, flush against yours. guilt should have gnawed at your heart, but it never made an appearance. the thickness in your throat or the upset stomach never became a prominent feeling. slender arms, which turned to featherlight weight, raised, fingertips tingling with the need to touch his warm skin, ensuring yourself that the scene happened in reality and wasn’t a lustful creation of your mind.

because it didn’t matter how tightly your boyfriends arms were wrapped around you at night, you missed the ones you slept in so peacefully, so safely without a doubt.

delicate pads traced along the sharp line of his jaw towards his earlobe before finding a comfortable spot to place your soft palm against the side of his neck. fingertips immediately playing with the thin hairs, the small curls which slowly started to grow back. manicured nails carefully scratched over the smooth, sensitive spot, remembering how much he desired it when you left those long, crimson red marks over his beautiful, unblemished porcelain skin.

"i've missed how strawberries tasted on your lips." words blown into the gentle kiss, compliments and confessions about the way, he still remembered perfectly which kind of chapstick you preferred. reminding you, that the crimson-red fruit was delicious but tasted better spread out over your soft lips. easily, he had enough access to your unmoving body, sneaking his arm around your waist. calloused palm pressed firmly against the curve of your back, giving him enough freedom to push your chest closer to his aching body. the slightest touch would be enough to coax the sounds of his dry throat. he missed the lingering burns of your slender fingers, the tingles across his chest when they trailed over his defined stomach and towards the v-lines which disappeared underneath the hem of his loose jogging pants.

he should have never been so addictive, so desirable for you and yet, you were the one cheating and forgetting a man, who dearly tried to love every flaw and inch. the destroyed image of a woman, who never settled for less, who just moved cities, who carried a broken heart.

and you never felt bad in his embrace. the only thing that bothered you was the fact, that his arms never felt like benjamin’s. the bayern munich fans cheered loudly, the screams of joy echoed through the catacombs and forced the two of you apart. heads turned to the side, listening to the proud melodies, sung with their red and white hearts.

a second goal for the bundesliga team, a second goal that kicked out a fearful enemy like paris saint-germain and allowed bayern munich to move a step further towards the finals. “winning this match, and feeling your undeniable soft lips again. couldn’t be a better ending to such a horrendous week.” benjamin chuckled, so light hearted, so warm. so different to the sounds he made during the first half of the match, when he couldn’t even glance at her.

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culttvblog · 3 months ago

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Denis Shaw Season: The Avengers - Requiem

Next in our series of shows in which actor Denis Shaw had a role we have this magnificent final-series Avengers episode, which I don't think I've ever blogged about. It happens to be one of my favourites so that was probably to keep it in reserve and not waste it.

The plot is that Miranda Loxton is the chief witness against Murder International, who are obviously rather inclined towards murdering people, so she has to be kept safe from them. The Ministry does this by secluding her with Steed in a secret place known only to Steed and some boyhood chums. Murder International try to discover this hiding place by setting up Tara King to think that Mother has been killed and it is imperative she draws on any mention Steed has made of his childhood den, so that the security services can get to Steed so that he can help with the assassination of Mother.

You have to love this episode, simply for the way Mother, in his run of peripatetic bases in this series, spends the entire episode drinking his way through Steed's drinks cabinet in his flat.

It's also the perfect vehicle for Denis Shaw, who of course plays one of the baddies, much more the sort of role he normally had and far from the amiable shopkeeper in The Prisoner. He actually repeatedly appears throughout the episode, and honestly the role is done in true Avengers style and made as theatrical as possible. His first appearance is when Tara drives off in Steed's car - he appears from under the convertible roof with a gun and tells her drive. Despite her (and us) presumably having already seen his face in the mirror in the next scene, when they arrive at their destination, Shaw has a stocking over his head like any other theatrical bank robber! Otherwise our attention is repeatedly drawn to a tattoo on the character's hand. All I can say is that Murder International can't have that many stooges because he then reappears as a nurse when Tara is also supposedly injured and in 'hospital' - she recognises him by the tattoo. Shaw's character is used to draw Tara's attention away from the rest of the baddies by making her think the other baddies he's working with are pukka.

As a vehicle for Shaw's acting and personality it's perfect. I see that in my introduction to this series of posts I blithely copied the biographical information I found online that he died suddenly at a relatively young age. One of the things which is very apparent in this appearance is how very overweight Shaw looks (he appears much more overweight than in The Prisoner) which would suggest that possibly his health wasn't that good.

I always try to be critical and it's very difficult with this episode, because the plot is essentially a straightforward double cross plot, played quite straight yet Avengerfied. I have seen some internet criticism that the only thing it needs is we need to see the criminal kingpin of Murder International so we have a baddie to focus on. In an attempt to find some possible criticism of my own on this episode I have literally wrung it out and have been reduced to saying that casting John Paul as a doctor is confusing and makes it look like Doomwatch. When you reflect that Doomwatch hadn't even started yet, it's clear how good this episode and what a hopeless criticism this is!

Excellent episode in itself, but Shaw fits right in with the Avengers ethos as a sinister servant of Murder International.

This blog is mirrored at

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Archives from 2013 to September 2023 may be found at culttvblog.blogspot.com and there is an index to the tags used on the Tumblr version at https://www.tumblr.com/culttvblog/729194158177370112/this-blog

#60s tv #the avengers #denis shaw

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battyaboutbooksreviews · 4 months ago

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🦇 Truly, Madly, Deeply Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD Do you believe in love at first sight? ❓ 🦇 Sparks fly when a lovelorn romance novelist and a divorce lawyer who has sworn off relationships agree to cohost a podcast series offering dating advice to viewers. As a bestselling romance novelist, everyone thinks Truly Livingston is an expert on happily-ever-afters. Unfortunately, she feels like an imposter after catching her fiancé cheating learning that her parents are separating. When she meets Colin McCory, she's anything but ready for a relationship, even if Colin drives her a little crazy. Okay, a LOT crazy. Can he change her shattered view on love, or are there no more happily ever afters?

💜 Excuse me while I shove my entire fist into my mouth to squeal in delight from the absolute cuteness of this. For the record, I read most of this between 10pm and 1am with my girlfriend fast asleep beside me. I lost track of how many times I had to stop reading to silence myself before some giddy, disgustingly adorable, definitely disruptive sound of glee escaped my body to keep from waking her up.

💜 Now that we got that out of the way, why are we not talking about this book? You bookish bats LOVE asking about book boyfriends/girlfriends. Have you MET Colin? You need to meet Colin. Just, trust me. Listen to me. Meet this man.

💜 It's 2am as I write this all heart-eyed, with a fire alarm chirping across the house and a storm raging outside, and I don't care about any of it because this. WAS SO. CUTTTE. From the MOMENT Truly sets eyes on Colin, all bets are off. She describes him as gorgeous, her breath hitches, she (a writer) stumbles over her words. We expect that from plenty of rom-coms, right? But the moment they get at it, their witty banter CAPTIVATES, chemistry off the charts, screaming off the page. I told you I had to pause reading multiple times? Every, EVERY time, it was because of a quick-wit exchange between these two. Truly looks at him appreciatively at first, sure, but otherwise tries shutting her heart off. Colin, though? Colin is full-on SMITTEN over her. He's lost from the beginning and KNOWS IT from the very start. And then we get to the smut and woooooh I had to get out of bed to find water and the nearest AC vent.

💜 And then. AND THEN they both realize they're bi but have never been with someone of the same sex, and maybe don't quite feel "queer enough" because of it (please, check the quotes I shared!). Bierasure is a real thing, but it's not often that we talk about internalized biphobia (a topic I haven't seen in a book since Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales). Bisexuality is part of the queer spectrum. We're not confused, and who we're with does not change or negate our sexuality. This was such a perfect scene to read at the start of Pride Month.

💙 The pacing for this one was a bit off for me. While I loved every scene, the momentum doesn't pick up until the very end, and by then, we're nearing the epilogue. The Parent Trap-esque sub-plot, while important to Truly's character development, felt awkward and a bit immature (though perhaps fitting for a romantic who defined love based on her parents' relationship). My biggest hang-up is the lack of real conflict, which is more internal (Truly's doubts about love) than external (which only manifest as Truly keeps Collin at arm's length...briefly).

🦇 Recommended to fans of Practice Makes Perfect in search of a steamy, queer rom-com that's full of tension, heat, and witty banter.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 📚 Bi4Bi / Queer Romance 📚 Contemporary Rom-Com 📚 Parent Trap Sub-Plot 📚 Opposites Attract 📚 Forced Proximity 📚 Witty Banter 📚 Musical Theatre References 📚 He Falls First

💬 Quotes ❝ No one, and I mean no one, deserves to be living rent free inside your head if they aren’t making you come so hard your brain leaks out your ears.” ❞ ❝ “Maybe I don’t want to play nicely with you.” ❞ ❝ Words were her thing, and Colin gave as good as he got. ❞ ❝ Colin’s praise was like swallowing the sun. It left her hot all over, flushed not just in the face but from her hairline down to her feet, damp in the creases of her elbows and her knees, uncomfortably sweaty all over. ❞ ❝ There’s no such thing as being queer enough. Action and attraction are two different things. You could go the rest of your life never dating a woman and it wouldn’t change a thing. If anything, I think you’re the perfect person to talk about bi- erasure in media because you spent the last six years in a straight- presenting relationship that was queer because you’re queer. And the gender of your partner? Doesn’t change that.” ❞ ❝ Truly (11: 16 p.m.): Screw you, McCrory. Colin (11: 16 p.m.): Promises, promises. ❞ ❝ As much as she got a thrill from playing verbal tug-of-war, there was an argument to be made for this tenderness, in laying down her sword and letting Colin hold her. ❞ ❝ With anyone else she might’ve considered the moment broken, but with him it just felt like turning to the next page in a book she’d never read. A book she’d left lingering on her nightstand for weeks, picking it up and putting it back down, her hopes for it so high she feared there was no earthly way the reality of it could live up to her expectations, too afraid she wouldn’t like the ending. She didn’t know what would happen next, but for the first time, the thought didn’t make her want to close the book and it didn’t make her want to flip ahead. ❞ ❝ I do like you. I like your obscure facts and how your eyes light up when you talk about them, when you share them with me. I like it that you aren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit and that for some reason that’s completely beyond me, you haven’t given up on me even though I’ve given you a hundred opportunities and a thousand reasons why. For some reason you like me and most of the time I’m not even sure why, but you do and I like that, too. I pretty much melt when you say my name, it sounds better when you say it, and when I’m with you, it’s easy to forget what I’m afraid of, but when I’m not, I guess I have a tendency to get in my head.” ❞ ❝ “You said it yourself; we’ve all got flaws. But the day I don’t want you is the day the earth starts rotating backward, okay?” “That’s a hell of a bold statement from a guy who’s known me two months.” “Remember this moment in twenty years. Can’t wait to tell you I told you so.” ❞ ❝ “I see, caffeine and kisses are the way to your heart in the morning. Good to know.” ❞ ❝ Love launched ships and started wars and inspired sonnets and drove people to madness. Love was heaven and hell, sin and redemption. It was as real to her as any other force of nature, hurricanes and earthquakes and lightning storms and meteor strikes. It fascinated her as much as it terrified her as much as it humbled her and— She’d spent her whole life trying to put it into words, eighty thousand of them at a time. Love had to be enough. There was no point if it wasn’t. ❞

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girlrachael · 1 year ago

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Leo's POV in Revival

I had just witnessed my last remaining brother destroy himself for the sake of the world, giving us one final chance to save everyone.

I grasped Casey’s shoulder tearing up at the scene. I took a deep breath and let it out and for what I had assumed would be the last time I would ever see Casey, I gave him a faux confident smile and told him to grab a slice before throwing him towards the portal and proceeded to fight off the couple of krang dogs that surrounded the portal. Forcing the creatures to stay away from me and my family’s child.

I gave one last loving look towards Casey, and seeing him crying and reaching out for me as he entered the portal, it did things to my heart. But I couldn’t dwell on that now so I forced myself to look away and pay attention to my surroundings to protect the portal from the krang.

Then the only thing I knew was blinding light and heat. Then darkness.

It was dark, but it wasn’t cold. Is that what it means to be dead? But I could feel my baby brother’s ninpo around me protecting me, just like I’ve done for him so many times over our lives together. So because of this I quickly concurred I was safe, I think. Then all of the sudden it seemed that Mikey’s ninpo was rapidly growing in power, then I felt a vague feeling of displacement, and immediately after I felt Mikey’s ninpo rapidly weakening. That scared me, but I promised that I wouldn’t leave my baby brother alone in this apocalypse and it seems I fulfilled that promise. Then as soon as Mikey had released me seemingly out of nowhere this static-like energy carefully but rapidly surrounded me in a protective barrier, it was even giving me strength.

But I didn’t want strength.

I wanted to join my brothers, I wanted all four of us to be together again. I just wanted my family back.

But that vaguely familiar energy kept me alive and kept feeding my weak energy and making it stronger and stronger until I was truly not in any danger of snuffing out.

At first I was fighting the energy at every chance I got. Until I realized that, no, it wasn’t krang. But what was it? It screamed safety and protection. It was so achingly familiar but I couldn’t seem to remember who it belonged to but in the end I decided to let this protective energy help me.

After a while I mostly gained my consciousness, and looking around me, I was in a pool of what seemed to be my own energy. I looked around taking in the great expanse of dark blue nothingness, then I began to hear a muffled but familiar voice calling out to me. I glanced down.

Donnie……?

I dropped to my knees and Donnie mirrored my action exactly. I wanted to be with my twin. But how? He was behin-

I was being grabbed.

“FUCK YOU DEATH, I’M TAKING HIM!”

I was pulled through the barrier. I was being cradled by my twin. He was holding me so tight like if he let go I would disappear.

We started to fall away from that safe feeling pool, but my twin was here. He wouldn’t put me in danger, and I know that I would always follow Donnie. So I let him take me with him, hopefully to where our brothers were. Donnie wouldn’t stop till we were all safe, that’s just how Donnie is.

Then my thoughts seemed to get muddled again, but I didn’t fight it this time. Donnie, my beloved twin, was here.

I woke up.

(This entered my head and wouldn't leave so here! Also I had Golden Hour playing in my head they entire time I wrote this XD)

@somerandomdudelmao

#cass apocalyptic series #somerandomdudelmao #tmnt 2018 #fic tag #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt casey jr

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republicsecurity · 10 months ago

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A Day in the Life of R23I9: The Charming Heavy Rescue Paramedic

Get ready to swoon because we've got an exclusive peek into the thrilling life of R23I9, the heartthrob heavy rescue paramedic who's not only saving lives but also stealing hearts along the way! Brace yourselves for a day filled with muscles, machines, and a dash of irresistible charm.

With a gentle touch, he opens his sleek sleeping capsule, greeting the day with enthusiasm. And guess what? We were there to witness it all! 🌞💖 Join us for a whirlwind 36-hour shift.

Early Morning: Rise and Shine! As the city begins to stir from its slumber, our dashing hero, R23I9, emerges from his sleeping capsule looking as fresh as a daisy. With a quick stretch and a charming smile, he starts his day, removing his bed linen meticulously to ensure the next person in line enjoys the same comfort he did.

Hygiene and Maintenance: The Cleaning Station Ritual:

R23I9 walks us through the intricacies of the cleaning station, a crucial element in maintaining the hygiene and functionality of the chastity device. His voice carries a mix of nonchalance and matter-of-factness as he elaborates, "The cleaning station is where accountability and support come into play. Another paramedic is present during this process, offering inspection and assistance. It's about ensuring the comfort of our fellow paramedics, preventing chafing or complications."

The Bond of Camaraderie: Inspecting Each Other's Devices:

F2IL0, chiming in with a tone of camaraderie, adds, "Inspecting each other's devices, including the penis and testicles, is a practice embedded in our culture. It's not just about safety; it's about mutual care. We check to make sure our colleagues are comfortable."

Sweat and Mobility

Picture this: a grueling 45-minute stretching and mobility routine that pushes their bodies to the limit. 🏋️‍♂️ I'm talking sweat glistening on their skin, muscles flexing, and determination etched on their faces. It's like a scene straight out of a romance movie, with our crush R23I9 at the center of it all.

R23I9, with his jaw-dropping physique and unwavering focus, leads the pack. His every move is calculated, his dedication inspiring. And did I mention the way his shirt clings to him, showcasing those perfectly toned abs? Swoon 😍

As they bend, stretch, and push themselves to the max, there's an undeniable chemistry in the air. The shared effort, the synchronized movements – it's a dance of passion and discipline that leaves us utterly captivated. And let's not even get started on those stolen glances and lingering touches.

Love Blossoms in Suds: A Shower of Affection! 💦💑

Hold on to your hearts, dear readers, because our beloved paramedic, R23I9, is about to take us on a journey to the steamiest spot in the entire ambulance station: the SHOWER! 😍🚿

After that intense training session that left us all hot and bothered, R23I9 leads us to the shower room where the temperature isn't the only thing rising! Together with another hunky conscript paramedic, they step under the warm cascade of water, their muscles still glistening from their workout. Oh my, can you feel the heat? 🔥

In the intimate confines of the shower, R23I9 and his paramedic buddy share a moment that's as sensual as it is heartwarming. They take turns soaping each other up, their strong hands gliding over slick, wet skin, forming a connection that goes beyond words. It's a dance of trust and camaraderie, a ritual that binds them together in the most intimate way possible. 😘

But the surprises don't end there! As the water cascades over them, they pull out razors and begin to shave each other's heads.

As the city settles into a tranquil night, our dashing hero, R23I9, slips into his Union Suit. The snug fabric clings to his muscular frame, accentuating every contour and leaving us utterly mesmerized. The moonlight casts a gentle glow, creating a captivating silhouette that tells tales of strength, courage, and quiet confidence. 🌙✨💪

Click... Click... Click... The Sound of Love and Protection! 💖🔒

Oh, dear readers, hold onto your hearts, because our paramedic romance is taking a thrilling turn as R23I9 and his paramedic partner step into their formidable ARMOUR SUITS! 🦸‍♂️✨

With a symphony of clicks, the armor pieces are secured, each one symbolizing not only their commitment to their duty but also the growing connection between them. Click... The pants hug their legs, emphasizing their strength and determination. Click... The chastity cage follows, a reminder of the Corps' rules, but also of their shared vulnerability. Click... Boots encase their feet, grounding them in the reality of their mission.

Moving upward, click... the torso and chest protector are fastened, shielding their hearts while allowing room for the love that's blossoming between them.

The familiar sight of their ID tattoos, once proudly displayed, begins to fade beneath the vibrant red of their chest protectors. This transformation symbolizes more than just a change in appearance; it represents their evolution within the Paramedic Corps. Their identities, once marked on their skin for the world to see, are now shielded, hidden behind the crimson barrier of their dedication. As the tattoo vanishes, a new sense of unity and purpose takes its place, binding them together in a way words could never express.

Click... Arms slide into place, and gloves are donned, fingers nimble and ready to save lives. With every audible click, their bond strengthens, each piece of armor sealing their fate together.

In the echoing silence of the armory, the clicks resonate like a heartbeat, syncing theirs in a rhythm only they can understand. It's not just the armor that's clicking into place; it's their souls, aligning with a purpose greater than themselves. Click... Click... The sound echoes through the room, marking the beginning of a new chapter in their paramedic journey.

Morning Chow

With a sense of purpose, our courageous paramedics, R23I9 and F2IL0, grab their helmets, their dedication gleaming in their eyes.

Amidst the chatter, they line up to receive their breakfast rations, a nourishing meal carefully crafted to fuel their bodies for the challenges ahead. As they savor each bite, they exchange smiles and brief conversations, a moment of camaraderie before the day's duties begin in earnest.

Morning meds, a ritual of dedication and care, are dispensed with precision, ensuring their bodies are primed for the challenges of the day ahead. With every pill swallowed, they reaffirm their commitment to their roles as paramedics, their unwavering spirit shining through.

After this essential routine, they proceed to the morning roll call, their heads held high. 🚑🔔🌅

Checks and off we go

With their helmets now securely fastened, R23I9 and the other paramedic swiftly move to the equipment check area. The room is filled with the sounds of clicking as they meticulously inspect their gear, ensuring that every piece of equipment is in perfect working order. Click after click, they confirm the readiness of their tools, a symphony of preparation echoing through the space.

Upon completion of the equipment check, a blaring alarm pierces the air, signaling their first heavy-duty call: a fire. Without hesitation, they rush to the awaiting heavy rescue vehicles, their armored suits gleaming under the station lights.

Click.

The doors of the vehicle slam shut, sealing them inside the protective cocoon of their heavy rescue suits. Click after click, they secure their helmets, gloves, and visors, immersing themselves in a focused silence. The atmosphere inside the vehicle is charged with anticipation, a collective determination to respond swiftly and decisively to the emergency at hand.

As the heavy rescue vehicle roars to life, they exchange determined glances, their eyes reflecting a shared commitment to their mission. With a final click, they embark on their journey, ready to face the flames and challenges that await them.

Outside, the world is ablaze with orange and red hues, but inside the armored vehicle, R23I9 and the other paramedic are a beacon of unwavering resolve, their armored forms a testament to their preparedness and courage. With every click, they move closer to the heart of the fire, their purpose unwavering, their determination unyielding. 🔥🚑💪

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0perfectimperfections0 · 2 years ago

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What if Lou was really smart, manipulative, and every doll feared to even disobey and anger him.

In a way, I can't really write this one out and I'll explain why.

Essentially, the movie already sets Lou up to be this way.

I'm looking into doing a personality analysis' of the characters to fit one of the 16 archetypes. The first will be Lou before I move on to the other characters.

But back to your question; Lou is already set up as smart and manipulative. And, honestly, he doesn't even realize he's manipulating them.

There's a specific line in our lives where we dictate what others do. A prime example that can be used parallel with Lou's situation is that of a parent and child. Our parents usually set us up to do chores when we were younger. They teach us how to clean and take care of the household. As we get older, the term "chores" changes to "responsibilities" and the difference between those two is that one is rewarded and the other is expected.

Manipulation at its foundational definition is simply an act of control over a person to achieve a personal aim. Our parents are not teaching us the importance of chores to necessarily be their slaves, but it's to set us up with this mindset that it MUST be done in order to be a functional human being. At the point where we understand the importance of chores, that is where it converts to responsibilities and they are then expected of us. Because anything less would be considered counterproductive to being a functional person.

And that's exactly what Lou is doing with the dolls. The factory has sent him to instill this sense of responsibility into the dolls that they MUST follow certain rules in order to leave. Because anything less would be counterproductive to serving their purpose as a doll.

We can't neglect the fact that Lou was created and conditioned by the factory. He has no free will, expressed by his captivity in the Institute. The robots being there also proves his limited freedom. They don't seem to be helping the dolls, right? So, why would they be there? It seems like they only hover around Lou. Even in the small scene where Ox has a flashback to Lou reaching a hand out to him, the robots are clearly seen in the background watching Lou. It appears they are also meant to act as a reminder to Lou of who he belongs to and why he is there.

So, everything that Lou believes has to stem from the factory in some way. Whether the lack of the factory's involvement with his development played a part in his personality or the overbearing involvement of them basically using him as a lab rat for the other dolls. Either situation is not ideal.

To learn something like manipulation comes from witnessing it or enduring it firsthand. Because you can't curate personality. That kind of thing has to be developed. Even AI has a developed personality and is not curated. So, to say that part of Lou's personality is manipulative wouldn't be entirely accurate, but that's how the movie paints it. He is simply doing whatever he has learned works to get the dolls to take the training seriously and not jump head-first into the Big World.

And to be able to learn this amongst other things makes him incredibly smart. At the point of the movie, he's analyzed the artificial personalities of the other dolls. He's managed to take such varying degrees of differentiation from them and figure out the common trick that will get them to listen. The washer seems to be one of those things: fear. Fear is what he has found to be the way to make them listen.

This leads to that last description you gave of all the dolls being too afraid to anger or disobey him. They really have no reason to be afraid of him. It's really the factory that is instigating all these rules and punishments.

The strange thing I find in the movie, though, is that it seems like no other doll is aware that the factory exists other than Lou and Ox. And Ox obviously doesn't tell Moxy or any of the Uglies about the factory because that would lead to more questions he can't answer.

But even the Pretty Dolls make no mention of the factory. From the time of their existence, all they know is the Institute of Perfection. They know there is a Big World that they are transported to magically. But they don't seem to realize there is a world literally outside of that Institute they are in. But since they don't realize that, they think that all the power is in Lou's hands. They don't see the puppeteer behind the strings.

They are already afraid to disobey or make him upset because they have this warped idea that their ability to go to the Big World is dependent on their relationship with Lou. It's not. Regardless of how he feels toward them, he can't keep them from passing the Gauntlet and leaving. This is why the Uglies were able to go through the Gauntlet.

He HAS to resort to this form of manipulation in order to keep the Uglies from going through the Gauntlet. Because if there was no problem with the Uglies passing, then why would the factory not notice Ox had been missing? Why would they have recycling for dolls that didn't meet their standards? Lou didn't build that.

He has to convince them that its pointless or else they will go through (just as they did) and pass. But the factory didn't intend for Uglies to be sold. They didn't intend for them to even exist, such is the reason for the recycle.

The movie doesn't delve further into the story. So, that last point is the kickstarter for my book "Backstitch" which continues the storyline under this premise of the factory playing a bigger part in the Pretty Dolls existence and the lack thereof for the Uglies.

It essentially answers that question "what's the big deal if the Uglies leave?" Why did Lou care so much? Why did he feel the need to have that mental control over them and over the other dolls?

Anyway, instead of a story you get a half-baked analysis XD.

#lou #fanfiction #analysis #rant #movie #writing

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nogchompa · 5 months ago

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its so insane to me that immediately after shooting sonya massey in the head for evidently no fucking reason, the cops on the scene started to rationalize their insane actions, while their bodies showed a rejection to it. they panicked and went "we had to do it dude. she was going to throw a pot of boiling water in our faces, i needed to shoot her" when you can literally see her cowering with her hands over her head as soon as GUNS were pulled on her in her own fucking kitchen. she ducked immediately. there was a clear moment where this cop could have hesitated, could have spared her life. but these people have lost all humanity. there is no good will. there is no helpful cop. every pig around makes anyone with a heart that much more afraid and tense. idk what the future holds, because this has happened time and time again. breonna taylor, george floyd, those who have protests named for them, trayvon martin, and no human memory can even retain the list of names that go on and on and on at the hands of police in this country. tears have been shed for so long, and nothing, nothing at all has changed. its shocking and demoralizing. i have not felt human in this country for so long, just witnessing what we have done, like...im in a deep red state, i was never taught about world history or US involvement in other countries, so i grew up and looked into it on my own, understood our position on the globe, & it's just. words fail me completely honestly. what do i say??? we all know what money means here & how taking a day off to try and push a thumbtack into the sole of the boot on our throats means the next few days meals. we all understand this situation, we all know we have no control, we all realize that this is how its all meant to operate. this country functions from disheartened, tired, burnt out citizens who are too tired to care about the suits up top in their dragons hoarde of gold coins playing around and throwing pies at each other. like who gives a fuck about the president. its been a circus for my entire lifetime, & when it wasnt a goofy memeable moment, it was men smiling in your face and promising you heaven while bombing children overseas without your knowledge but with your money. ive run out of things to say but thats my drunk political rant death to america etc etc

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yeschefthankyouchef · 1 year ago

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wow would you look at that i’m behind again! life simply does not slow down sometimes and i have been absolutely itching to read these updates, ya girl is sick as a dog rn and finally ready to dig in🤠

there was so much i loved about this chapter - one of the most notable being the relationships you’ve built up between baby and the others. there is something so human about this fic that keeps me coming back, and i think it boils down to your attention to world and relationship building outside of the “main” storyline.

“She would find him just standing in the restaurant, sometimes eyes staring into nothing as he worried the pendant between his fingers, oftentimes raising it to his lips before letting it go completely and wandering to do whatever task needed to be done.”

this chapter is destroying me already in the absolute best possible way. the image of him raising the pendent TO HIS LIPS has me weak in the mf knees sjsjsjssjsjsj

“Using his sister's obvious discomfort to deflect from the conversation she was insistent on having wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he’d rather put his sister’s well-being before being forced to think about how long it had been since he last spoke to you; he last saw you.”

he is such an avoidant king

“It’s been trademarked for years, whoever filed has all legal rights to the name.”

OH MY GOD i am so giddy rn i can’t wait to read his reaction when he finds out baby owns the legal rights

“as the years passed by he knew it was a desire he himself had”

ohhhhh boy he is going to be devastated when he finds out

“All I’m sayin’ is Mikey didn’t trademark it whoever did might…I dunno hypothetically deserve an apology in return for said documents.”

if richie has 1000 fans i am one of them, if richie has 1 fan it’s me, if richie has no fans i am DEAD😤 i love and adore the way you write richie - the sass, the love, the big brother vibes - i just eat it all right up

“Carmy was at his wits end with the older man “Oh so you’re the fucking Riddler now.”

i am laughing so hard rn, he’s just lil dumb boy

“Maybe he did know what love was supposed to feel like, because for all the time he had been in love with you, he had never once felt so completely and utterly broken as he had been since not fighting for your love a year ago like he should have.”

this line is absolutely beautiful, i had to put my phone down for a minute and just hold my head in my hands to process before moving on

“Cat’s out of the bag! Our pregnancy is no longer top secret!”

HE FUCJING WOULD BE REFER TO IT AS “OUR PREGNANCY” THIS IS SO ON BRAND AHSJDJSJS

“Nat’s my partner you know? And I’m so grateful for her providing me the opportunity to be a father. Allowing me to build with her, for us to come together and bring a child into this world, it’s a beautiful thing I love her ya know.”

the only man that is allowed to refer to it as “our pregnancy” because he is doing it in the most wholesome way. i am such a pete defender and i love you for adding an entire pete scene, he simply did not get enough screen time imo

“Wow, it really will be a Baby shower!”

this is so cute omg, he’s already making dad jokes🥹

“Nat she uh…she confided in me about how she always wanted to be the one to throw you a shower if you ever decided to have children. And if-when we had our own she’d want you to be in charge of hers…if you wanted to not like she would force you.”

it could be that i am loopy on cold medicine but i have literal tears in my eyes over this, what a beautiful show of friendship and womanhood. nat deserves this and i’m so proud of baby for putting aside her pain to do it for her.

“I just, whatever is going on between you and Carmen, it’s affecting Nat. And she won’t tell you because you deserve to feel how you feel, but with the baby and the restaurant…she doesn’t need to play "Fix it Felix” with you and Carmen right now.”

he is so male wife and the absolute biggest defender of nat, i think everyone deserves a pete in their corner

**OMG I JUST HAD A THOUGHT - have you seen the barbie movie? bc pete is so allen coded

“A part of you ached at how happy Pete was, if things were different, maybe in another life you would’ve been able to see that excitement on another man’s face.”

i am throwing up

“Damn ma, that shits kinda sad.”

he is so me

“I know you have issues with girls actually having your number…Sorry, that was actually kind of rude.”

it may be rude, but it is NOT uncalled for

“You were so blissfully unaware that since he could remember, you had been the one and only option in his mind.”

i am kicking my feet and giggling rn - this! is! it!! this is what we’ve been waiting for!!! oh god everything has been building to this and i can’t believe we’re almost to some calmer waters (if carmy can manage to not fuck it up again)

“i apologize that this is a bit of a filler chapter but it felt kinda necessary idk”

i will not sit here and allow you to call the absolutely necessary bridge chapter “filler” that i loved with my whole heart and soul, i simply will not allow the slander❌

chapter seven | they know i believed in us last week

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!pete x fem!reader | male!oc x fem!reader |

summary: carmy struggles to deal with your absence in his life, while you finally learn to live without him.

wc: 7.3k

song rec: i'll still have me - cyn, aquilo

semi-edited/proof-read

“Carm hey, are you listening?” Natalie’s eyes flitted across Carmy’s face, his blank eyes staring directly past her. She took this moment as a chance to take in her younger brother’s ragged appearance, at first glance he looked like he normally did; exhausted. But taking the time to really study him, she knew Carmy was doing worse than he’d ever admit.

His usual textured and fluffy hair was limp against his head, the greasy quality of it proving he needed a wash. The discoloration under his eyes was the worst Nat had seen it, the deep blue-purple bruising a sign that he was getting even less sleep than he usually did. The skin of his lips was dehydrated and bitten to pieces, a tick he had as a child that gradually calmed down as he grew older. And the visible stubble on his chin was enough to know that the absence of your presence in his life was hitting him harder than anyone expected.

Her eyes caught on the chain that was haphazardly peeking out of his shirt, squinting at the newly added pendant hanging from it. Natalie didn’t have to be a genius to know whose initial hung around Carmen’s neck, the chain which was usually safely tucked into his shirt was now blatantly on show for everyone to see. Natalie had noticed it more recently since your and Carmy’s argument, though this was her first time seeing it this close. She would find him just standing in the restaurant, sometimes eyes staring into nothing as he worried the pendant between his fingers, oftentimes raising it to his lips before letting it go completely and wandering to do whatever task needed to be done.

Natalie’s concern was palpable but the discomfort in her abdomen was worse. “Have you tried talking to her?” The shaky breath she let out filtered between the two of them.

Carmen’s eyes finally snapped to hers taking in the uncomfortable expression on her face, “Sug?” He waited for Nat to focus on him. “You good?” The question hung in the air as Natalie tried to even out her breathing.

Using his sister's obvious discomfort to deflect from the conversation she was insistent on having wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he’d rather put his sister’s well-being before being forced to think about how long it had been since he last spoke to you; he last saw you.

Carmy watched as Sug raised a closed hand to her mouth suppressing the urge to gag. “Yeah good, I’m good.” The forced smile on her lips did nothing to fool Carmy, but he wouldn’t force the issue.

“Can you uh, explain to me again how we’re doing, I spaced.” His fingers raised to run through his hair a small grimace painting his face at the grime he could feel left behind on his fingertips.

“Seven weeks out, Carm, and still so much to be done,” An exhausted sigh breathed through Natalie’s lips. The stress opening this restaurant caused felt extremely unnecessary considering her current status.

“No yeah I heard that,” Carmy nodded his head rapidly, Sug’s words slowly coming back to him. He squinted his eyes, hand scratching the grown-out stubble on his chin. “You uh said something about the DBA getting rejected?”

“About that.” Natalie’s voice trailed off one hand pressing into her abdomen to ease the ache, “The name’s taken.”

Nat watched as Carmy processed the words, her discomfort felt like it was increasing as the seconds passed by.

“Who the fuck could’ve taken the name?” The idea perplexed Carmy. There was no chance another business could have the same name, well there was, it was just slim as hell.

Nat shrugged just as confused as Carmy “It’s been trademarked for years, whoever filed has all legal rights to the name.”

“Fuck me!” The pitch of Carmy’s voice rose along with his irritation.

Natalie’s own mumbled expletive was drowned out by Carmy’s outburst, the nauseating morning sickness she was experiencing came in an extra hard bout today.

“Yo, Sug…Sug. You sure you’re okay?” Carmy’s concern now outweighed his confusion, Nat’s weird behavior this whole morning was beginning to worry him.

“I can do this Carmy right, tell me I can do this.” Natalie’s breathing began to increase as a slight panic flooded through her. Carmy watched her with wide eyes, no idea what she could even be talking about.

“Tell me I can do it, Carm!” The wave of nausea subsided with her yell, Carmy’s hands raised in the air to divert blame.

“Fuck okay! You can do it Sug.”

“I am…completely terrified. And I’m only telling you because..I don’t know. Just-just in case.” Natalie nodded to herself as a way to provide her nerves with courage.

Carmy just stared at Natalie still not following where she was leading this conversation to.

“I really want this to be loving and good and happy,” A smile rose to Nat’s face “I just..I don’t want anyone to know…well besides Baby and now you.”

Carmy’s eyes focused on Sug’s abdomen, the pieces of the puzzle slowly fitting together in his head. The name she spoke felt like it was echoing through his ears.

“Sure” He wasn’t sure how to react to the news, he had always assumed Natalie would be the first of the siblings to start a family. And as the years passed by he knew it was a desire he himself had.

“I really don’t want Richie to know. Because somehow, it feels more in my control when and who knows…” The sound of the wall falling caused Nat to raise her voice as she finished her sentence. “That I’m pregnant.” Her final words were spoken just loud enough to alert the crew to her news.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” The sound of Richie’s shout grated on Nat’s nerves, but the quiet congratulations helped to ease her ire a bit.

Carmy was happy for Sugar, but it felt like it was setback after setback for the restaurant and all the personal issues he was dealing with weren't helping his stress. He felt his shoulders sag a bit mind racing as to how the name could already be trademarked, or who would’ve trademarked it.

His eyes found Richie’s as the man cajoled about how he knew Natalie was pregnant this whole time. Had Richie told someone the name and they took it for themselves? Did Mikey somehow trademark it while on a bender? The thought made Carmy’s head hurt what the fuck even was the point of opening this restaurant if they couldn’t use the name. The name was the epitome of the restaurant.

If you were here Carmy knew you would've given him an analogy for how he was feeling, you would’ve told him he was like Atlas holding up the sky or whatever he did. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts of you, it wasn’t helping him in the least.

As much as he’d rather not converse with Richie, he needed to get to the bottom of this trademark business.

“Yo, Cousin!” The words felt wrong escaping Carmy’s lips the two men avoided each other in the same way you avoided Carmen.

The agitation on Richie’s face was instant, Carmy knew he fucked up with you, but the cold shoulder he was getting from Richie felt unnecessary.

Nat watched as the two men locked eyes, not too keen on playing referee for these two again. She looked in Carmy’s direction as Richie began making his way over, trying to gauge what was going through her little brother's mind.

“Carmen,” Richie nodded in acknowledgment to Carmy. Richie would be lying if he said he wasn’t purposefully using Carmy’s government name to rile him up, he knew how much Carmy hated it when you did it, and since you weren’t here someone had to uphold the tradition.

Carmy felt his eye twitch Richie’s immaturity since the argument with you felt never-ending. “Did Mikey ever trademark the name?”

Richie frowned looking between him and Nat the assumption that he had any goddamn clue laughable “What the fuck did Mikey look like trademarking shit? Wasn’t I just slangin’ crack to keep the lights on?”

Carmy’s eyes shut as Nat let out a quiet gasp, watching as Richie raised his hands in defense. Maybe running a back alley drug ring wasn’t the best for business, but without it, they may not have been in this moment renovating the restaurant.

“Well someone fucking trademarked it, Richie.” The attitude Carmy was catching was wholly unwelcome.

“I don’t like your tone, Carmen,” Richie matched Carmy’s energy giving him what he was getting. “All I’m sayin’ is Mikey didn’t trademark it whoever did might…I dunno hypothetically deserve an apology in return for said documents.”

Carmy was at his wits end with the older man “Oh so you’re the fucking Riddler now.”

“Baby trademarked the name?” Nat’s voice traveled between the trio at the same time as Carmen’s snarky remark. Carmy’s head shot to her, confused as to how she concluded you had anything to do with the conversation at hand.

“Bingo!” Richie’s hands came together in a loud clap Sydney rolled her eyes at the obnoxious man before looking over the various work orders. “She did that shit years ago and gave it to Mikey as a present, he…left it for her when he passed.”

A quiet fell over their small group, each of them taking in the gesture. Richie had only become privy to the present when he went through the office to try and make sense of what the hell Mikey was doing to keep the business up and running. He had knocked a framed picture of your group off the desk cleaning up the mess only to find the folded trademark document in the back of the broken picture frame.

Your name was haphazardly scribbled into the back of it.

Carmen’s chest heaved as he let the news wash over him, it seemed since the two of you had your falling out the universe was continuously pushing him to interact with you. He raised his hand to his face, rubbing it up and down as he added another item to the long list of things going wrong with the restaurant.

In a way, learning that you were responsible for trademarking the name made Carmy’s chest feel warm. It felt like you wanted this for Mikey just as much as he did, the two of you both supporting Mikey in ways the other never knew. It also gave him an excuse to speak with you, not that he needed one. If he was a better man he would’ve already worked up the courage to reach out to you. He could feel a headache coming on the more he thought about trying to fix things with you.

Carmen was sure he’d figure things out soon, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could figure things out with you not by his side. Which he would admit was quite ironic considering all the times he had willingly pushed you away. But being pushed away by you had proven to him just how badly he was screwing things up with you, to hear you be so upset by his actions he basically forced you into confessing your love stung him to his core.

Carmy wasn’t exactly sure what love was supposed to feel like, but he was almost positive it wasn’t this. The ache in his chest from not being around you, looking for you in every crowd he was in. Soaking up any conversation your name was mentioned in. Maybe he did know what love was supposed to feel like, because for all the time he had been in love with you, he had never once felt so completely and utterly broken as he had been since not fighting for your love a year ago like he should have.

“That was Nat,” you looked up as Pete returned to the table, a smile growing on your face at how happy he looked to have been speaking with his wife. “Cat’s out of the bag! Our pregnancy is no longer top secret!”

Pete’s excitement was contagious, your smile growing wider at his pure joy. “Our pregnancy?” You chuckled never having heard anyone refer to it as if the pregnancy was shared.

You watched as Pete sipped the water in front of him, a signature goofy smile back on his face. “Of course! I mean yeah Nat is carrying the baby, but I’m just as pregnant as she is.” You gave Pete a confused look, a laugh bubbling out of you.

“You laugh now Baby, but I’m serious.” Pete paused as the waiter brought out the bread for your table, both of you quickly thanking them. “Nat’s my partner you know? And I’m so grateful for her providing me the opportunity to be a father. Allowing me to build with her, for us to come together and bring a child into this world, it’s a beautiful thing I love her ya know.”

The sheen in Pete’s eyes was enough to make you emotional you didn’t need to hear his explanation to know how much Pete loved Natalie, you could just see it in the way he looked at her, in the way his face would light up when anyone would mention her name or ask about her.

“I’m happy that Nat has someone like you to build a life with.” Both you and Pete shared misty-eyed smiles, chuckles leaving each of you at how emotional the small things made both of you.

“Looks like that dinner you were planning just turned into a full-blown baby shower!” The loud clap Pete’s hands made startled you. “Wow, it really will be a Baby shower!”

You watched as Pete laughed at his own pun, doing your best not to laugh along with him and encourage his bad jokes. The relationship you developed with Pete was a bit weird in the beginning, you weren’t the most open to the idea, and it’s not because you didn’t like Pete, it just felt like you were replacing Mikey.

It took a while before you could look at Pete and realize he wasn’t trying to replace Mikey’s role in your life, and that the drugs and paranoia had driven you to that conclusion. Pete was a great man, standing by Natalie’s side while she fought to keep you alive. Probably being more accepting than someone else may have been when he and Nat decided to help you. Pete and Natalie both put aside their own lives to help you get better, and get back on your feet, and while part of you wished Mikey was around to ground you as well, Pete’s love and kindness didn’t deserve to be taken for granted.

“That dinner was supposed to be a surprise for you too Peter,” you shot him a tiny glare before reaching for some bread. “I just wanted you both to have a nice night off together, no stress.” The reservation had already been made, but thinking about Pete’s words and the excitement when explaining most everyone knew about the pregnancy, maybe it would have been best for an intimate shower for the two soon-to-be parents.

Pete was definitely a family guy and Natalie came from a big family, maybe a shower would be for the best. Surround them with people who loved and supported them and just allow everyone to bask in the happiness the joyous news brought, you were sure everyone could use a break.

“Okay hypothetically say I put together a small shower for the two of you, is that even something Nat would want?” Sure you knew Nat but Pete was her husband and this was their moment, you didn’t want to ambush her with a party she never wanted.

You watched Pete bristle a little, a nervous smile raised to his lips, “I uh I’m not sure if Nat ever told you but she kinda had this…this whole dream about the two of you,” you frowned confused at what Pete was talking about.

“Well not like an unconscious sleeping dream, more like a-an idea?” Pete’s voice rose at the end of his sentence, not sure if the question in his tone was meant for you or him.

“Pete bud you lost me.” You gave him a small nod of encouragement awaiting his response.

“Um so…after your uh…loss,” a sad smile rose to Pete’s lips, you could see the apology in his eyes. “Nat she uh…she confided in me about how she always wanted to be the one to throw you a shower if you ever decided to have children. And if-when we had our own she’d want you to be in charge of hers…if you wanted to not like she would force you.” The nervous huff of laughter from Pete hung in the air for a minute.

The admission perplexed you, Nat had never brought this up to you directly and maybe it was because she felt like she couldn’t. You weren’t the most open when it came to the topic of your miscarriage always avoiding the conversation whenever Nat tried to breach it.

“Baby…you’re the closest thing Natalie has to a sister. I can promise she would be ecstatic no matter what decision you choose.”

You nodded, the motion happened unconsciously as you tried to take in everything Pete had laid on you. Of course, there were things Nat wouldn’t share with you, but while the two of you were like sisters you didn’t expect her to share every little detail with you. As you let Pete’s words digest you couldn’t help the warm feeling beginning to flood through your body, if you were being honest you weren’t sure if it was the best idea to be throwing anyone a baby shower, but you also knew Natalie deserved to be celebrated, not only for the life she and Pete were creating together, but also for all the work she was doing to ensure that The Bear had a fighting chance.

“Okay,” your head continued its up-and-down motion. “Yeah okay let’s do it but I’m going to need your help, Pete.” You watched the smile on his face increase tenfold, your own wide smile spreading your lips due to how contagious Pete’s joy was.

“Anything and I mean anything Baby, I am your guy.” Pete’s giddiness warmed you even more, you didn’t think you had ever been surrounded by anyone with such a positive attitude before. In the beginning, when Natalie and Pete first began dating, his electric personality was a bit much but you found yourself always trying to make Pete feel included, especially with how off-putting the rest of the Berzatto clan could be.

And when you were recovering it was almost like you had to re-acclimate yourself to Pete’s personality. Your recovery was hard, there were some days you weren’t even sure if you wanted to get better or if you wanted oxygen to continue filling your lungs. But Pete was so positive and always looking at life and your situation with a ‘glass half full’ mentality, that his constant belief in you helped to make the hard days easier.

A small sigh escaped your lips as you readied yourself for the question you were about to ask. “Pete, do you think you could give me Carmen’s number?” You tried not to roll your eyes as you saw Pete’s own light up, you were almost positive he would be telling Nat about this topic of conversation. “Before you get any ideas, I just need it to invite him to the shower.” You raised your hands in defense hoping Pete wouldn’t look into this any more than he already was.

“No can do B, the idea train has already left the station.” His fingers drummed on the table with excitement. “But I will do you one better,” you frowned as you watched Pete pick up his phone, fingers skating across the screen before he held it up to show you. A call to Carmen already going through as Pete sent you a thumbs-up.

You looked at the screen eyes wide, the shock temporarily paralyzed for a moment. The quiet sound of the ringing between the two of you brought you back. “Pete! Hang up the phone.” Your voice was terse as you spoke trying not to draw too much attention from other patrons.

Pete laughed, “He never answers my calls anyway.” Pete’s words irritated you, but you were glad to see the call go to voicemail before Pete pressed the end call button and set his phone down.

You let out a surprised laugh, Pete had definitely been too influenced by the Berzattos during his time with Natalie. The little stunt he just pulled was something you knew both Richie and Mikey would do if given the chance.

“Baby?” Your head raised eyes meeting Pete’s, “I know this may sound selfish, but I…I need you to figure out this thing between you and Carmen.” Your eyebrows furrowed the need to defend yourself hitting you full force, you opened your mouth to respond but stopped as Pete raised his hand, a signal to let him continue.

“I know Baby, I know. I’ll be honest with you, as much as I love Nat’s family I think you should’ve given up on Carmen a long time ago.” Your jaw fell slack, and Pete’s eyes widened a bit. “No, no just for your own wellbeing, your peace of mind.” You began nodding as Pete explained himself better. “I just, whatever is going on between you and Carmen, it’s affecting Nat. And she won’t tell you because you deserve to feel how you feel, but with the baby and the restaurant…she doesn’t need to play "Fix it Felix” with you and Carmen right now.”

You let out a small chuckle at Pete’s explanation, over the years he had begun expressing himself to you more. You being the only one on Natalie’s side who actually gave him the time of day and willfully listened to him, helped him to gain more confidence when around the rest of the Berzattos. You reached for your glass of water, taking a long sip before setting it down.

“Thank you, Pete, for being honest,” you sighed, finger playing with the condensation on your cup. “If I’m being honest, it's easy to forget that Nat’s in the middle of everything. She’s so good at pretending it doesn’t affect her.” A rueful smile rose to your lips, as great as a friend as Natalie had been to you through everything, you weren’t sure the same could be said for yourself. “You’re right, Carmen and I are adults, we should be able to figure this out ourselves. I’ll…I’ll call him, figure things out.” You sent Pete a small smile.

Recently it felt like Natalie and Pete nursed you back to health and then for some reason became your surrogate parents. You didn’t think there was anything wrong with leaning on them, the three of you did endure a traumatic experience together so it was understandable. But maybe you had become too comfortable and relied on them too much to ‘fix’ your life. You could understand where Pete was coming from and he had every right to put his wife’s well-being before the feelings of his friends.

You knew Natalie and Pete would be amazing parents and of course, Nat’s fears were valid. But you had seen firsthand just how loving, caring, and kind the couple was, and while that wasn’t all that went into raising a child it was like a part of you just knew that their child would be in great hands.

“Enough about my poor life choices Pete, have you guys thought of any names?” The timing of the question couldn’t have been more perfect, Pete perked up at the question, eyes glazing over with excitement. A waiter stopped by your table to deliver your entrees as Pete began animatedly explaining his and Nat’s process for picking names.

A part of you ached at how happy Pete was, if things were different, maybe in another life you would’ve been able to see that excitement on another man’s face. Maybe the two of you would’ve come up with your own system for picking out names.

You listened as lunch continued, no matter how many times the thought had crossed your mind, you would always be grateful that Natalie had found a partner to love her in the ways she deserved.

It was silent between you and Cortez as you made your second lap around the block, the church in the distance behind you. Your hands were preoccupied with a warm disposable cup of hot cocoa as Cortez gingerly sipped his choice of tea. This had become the routine for your meetings with your sponsor, the two of you would meet at the bodega a little ways away from the church that housed both AA and NA meetings. Then continue your meeting with a few circles around the block before ending at the church stairs when all was said and done.

The air was tense between the two of you, Cortez hadn’t taken kindly to your decision to skip out on the few check-ins that you had asked for. In the beginning, you were in constant contact with Cortez, feeling the match between the two of you out. As you progressed through recovery and got back into the routine of daily life the daily talks between the two of you began to dwindle as you settled into life as a recovering addict.

But after that initial meeting at The Beef, being in Carmen’s presence again, surrounding yourself with Richie and the life you once knew, the meetings with Cortez picked back up in frequency. And you were doing fine for some time, the man meeting with you when you needed it, always willing to speak with you whenever you asked and it was helpful, god was it helpful. But then you made it to step nine, step eight in the recovery program was its own monster that Cortez helped you through especially when it came to who didn’t need to be on your list.

You made the decision to text Cortez after admitting your faults to Richie. As great as it felt to finally be open with Richie and let him into your life, it also brought with it the urge to use again. Richie had been kind enough to take the bottle of champagne off your hands that night, but the desire to call Fak and ask if Theo had anything he could spare almost won out. But as you scrolled through your contacts the red icon hovering over the voicemail tab brought you back to your senses.

“So your friend Richie knows?” Your eyes shot to Cortez taking in his side profile before focusing back on their attention focused on the steaming paper cup of coffee gripped in their hands.

“Yeah, his daughter kind of spilled the beans.” You nodded playing with the frayed edges of your jeans.

“That’s a bit fucked up don’t cha think?” Cortez’s brows furrowed. “I mean how does his little girl know but he don’t that’s gotta hurt.”

You rolled your eyes, “Aren’t you supposed to like not be judgmental?” Cortez’s laugh felt like it was grating on your ears, as good a sponsor as he was, he had the personality of an annoying older brother you were happy not to have.

“It ain’t even judgment though, it’s an observation.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to know that annoying smirk was on his lips as he shrugged his shoulders.

You stopped as Cortez dropped his now empty cup in a trash bin on the street, “Didn’t know you received your inspector gadget certification.”

“That smart ass mouth is bouta be the reason you out here looking for a new sponsor,” you let out a cackle before taking a much-needed sip of your hot cocoa. “Sound like my daughter with that dumb shit.” If you didn’t know the man who was walking by your side, you would’ve thought he was actually upset, but you could tell by the uptick of his lips he didn’t take anything to heart.

The two of you rounded the corner coming up on the church. You watched as Cortez plopped his long limbs down on one of the steps, opting to sit on the railing. Cortez took out his pack of cigarettes bringing the box to his mouth and removing one before offering the box in your direction. You slipped one out a small laugh escaped you at the irony of everything, how you had once been so against the cancer sticks that those around you would make sure not to smoke around you. And then instead of indulging in a nicotine addiction, you turned to alcohol and prescription pills, the fact that you would smoke a cigarette here and there to appease your urges now felt a bit comical.

You leaned forward allowing Cortez to light your cigarette, “Man ain’t nothin’ like smoking on Big G’s doorstep.” Cortez’s voice filled the silence that had settled over the two of you, you took a drag of the cigarette, a small chuckle escaping you with the smoke.

“I used to hate these fucking things.” The disgust on your face was obvious even as the stick hung from your mouth.

“Why you take one every time I offer 'em’ then?” Cortez switched positions leaning his elbows on the step behind him as he stretched his long limbs out in front of them, offering a wave to the few people entering the church for whatever meeting was scheduled to take place.

You shrugged eyes falling to Cortez’s beat-up boots as you sucked the nicotine deep into your lungs, “They’re the same brand Mikey smoked.”

“Damn ma, that shits kinda sad.” The two of you locked eyes before small laughs left the both of you. You had been around Cortez for so long that you’d picked up on his need to turn most anything into a joke. And while in the beginning, it pissed you off, you realized that’s just who he was and that sometimes being able to laugh in serious moments or at your trauma was helpful.

“Nah seriously though better smokin’ these than messin’ with that shit that hooked you in the first place. Know what I mean?” You nodded, finishing off the cigarette in your hand before taking the second cigarette Cortez offered. You knew how these things went and had spent so much time with the man that you learned to read him. Cortez only ever smoked two cigarettes and offered you two if the conversation was gonna be a rough one.

“Where you at with them apologies?” You sighed letting the man light your cigarette one more time, allowing the fumes to warm your lungs.

You dropped from your seat on the railing, your backside had gone numb. You settled yourself to lean against the railing “I mean I told Richie the truth and there were a lot of apologies in that conversation. But I feel like he deserves a better apology.” You shrugged, your attention dropping to Cortez as he listened.

“Ima be honest wit chu, this might be the hardest part of recovery. Shit I know it was f’me admittin’ to my little girl her father was a fuckin’ junkie. But at the end of the day, you gotta remember this recovery shit is for you. If homeboy loves you like a sister like you say he does, all that should matter to him is that yo annoyin’ ass still here. A’ight, ma?” You listened, nodding along to his words. “All you can do is apologize for the shit you did, you can’t control whether people forgive you or not, and remember ain’t nobody gotta fuck with your apology if they don’t want to.”

You let Cortez’s words settle into you, to anyone else his words may not have seemed genuine but this is just who Cortez was. And you knew no matter how nonchalant he sounded he was speaking every word from his heart.

“You still fuckin with that lil dumbass boy?” The question caused you to choke on the last bit of cocoa in your cup.

“We had a falling out, he’s one of the people I have to apologize to though.” The cigarette between your fingers continued to burn. “There’s a lot I still haven’t told him…the substance abuse, the reasons behind my overdose.” An exhausted sigh pushed its way through your lips. It was like one thing after another when it came to you and Carmy.

“Listen I know we ain’t sposed to have like personal relationships and shit, but lemme know what homeboy looks like I’ll get my goons on em’ for you.” Your head fell back in laughter as Cortez raised his fist to under both of his eyes.

“No goons Cortez, please. Wait, have you ever actually put a hit on somebody before?” You obviously didn’t know Cortez as well as you would have if the two of you were friends. But it wasn’t hard to tell that he would get down if need be.

“Why someone say somethin’?” The two of you shared a laugh, the now more frequent people entering the church signifying that your time together was coming to an end.

“Aight, I gotta head in, get shit set up in there. But ima send you the info for Nar-Anon you give that shit to people who still choose to put up with yo ass. You comin' in?”

You shook your head sending him a small smile, “I came to the morning meetings today.”

You nodded in thanks as Cortez stood up, pushing yourself off the railing. You placed the cigarette between your lips leaving your hands open to do the handshake Cortez insisted you did after each meeting. When he first introduced it you were still getting used to the idea of being a recovering addict and thought he was fucking crazy. But you realized he used it as a way to break the serious desolate feeling that some of these meetings ended on, to help bring some light to what was such a dark reality.

At least that’s how he explained it to you, but you were sure he just liked doing the handshake his daughter helped him come up with.

“Ima see you when I see you ma stay straight.” You chuckled before turning on your heel to head to your parked car. Putting the bud of the cigarette out against the trash bin you passed. It was still early, enough time for you to knock out some baby shower shopping before it got too late.

Carmen stopped in his tracks, eyes finding your figure across the street. You were in front of the church that held the Al-Anon meetings he told you about. Maybe you would be attending the one he was here for, his eyes traveled to the man sitting on the steps you were talking to eyebrows furrowing as he realized the vapors leaving your mouth weren’t from your warm temperature, but instead the stick you had raised to your mouth.

“Baby?” The question left his lips in a quiet whisper, he knew it was you standing across the street but it had been a few weeks since your last interaction he was sure he had imagined you. But he would know you anywhere, by scent alone. He couldn’t help the shock at watching you smoke, something you had been so opposed to since the two of you were children. Even going so far as telling Carmy you couldn’t be friends when he smoked his first cigarette at 15, the stalemate barely lasted a day after you realized how dumb the idea was.

Carmy watched as the two of you stood up, his hopes to see you inside dwindling as he watched the two of you begin to part ways, an intricate handshake taking place before you turned to leave. He watched as your figure disappeared around the corner, a quiet ‘shit’ leaving his lips before he darted across the street trying to catch you before you were gone for good.

“Baby! Hey!” His shouts were useless, you were too far gone to have even heard him. “Fuck!” One hand raised to sit on the bill of his cap, the universe seemed like it was doing everything in its power to keep the two of you apart. Or maybe it was just the way things were meant to be.

Carmy turned to see the man you were with still standing in the same spot you left him, eyes narrowed as he took in Carmy’s figure. The man eyed Carmy for a moment longer, sending a head nod his way before turning and entering the church. Carmy was tempted to follow the man and ask about you, but whatever your relationship with the unknown man was, it was none of Carmy’s business.

He sighed eyes shooting up to the sky before taking a deep breath and making his way inside, not wanting to be late and disturb the Al-Anon meeting before it began. Carmy made his way to the room where the meeting usually took place, eyes landing on the same man from outside once more as he greeted members, the sign near the door he stood by signifying it was an NA meeting. Carmy stopped for a moment, eyes darting between the man and the sign he’d just read.

“You lost kid?” Carmy looked at the man brown furrowed as he shook his head, he sent a tight smile the man's way before walking two doors down for his own meeting. Carmen’s brain felt like it was racing a mile a minute. If you weren’t coming to the Al-Anon meeting, why were you here? And why were you talking with someone who appeared to be leading NA meetings?

The vibrating of his phone caught his attention, the device easily slipped out of his pocket. He felt the air leave his lungs as your name flashed across his screen, he realized just how indecent setting that Polaroid picture of you with his chain on might have been now that he was in public, but it’s not like he ever thought you’d call him.

How’d you even get his number?

“Carmen, hey, we’re about to start your coming?” His head shot up to one of the usual who attended these meetings and would talk to him on occasion.

“Yeah uh, just give me a minute.” Carmy gave a tight smile, eyes flashing back to his phone finger moving to swipe across the screen, the call abruptly ending before he even got the chance to hear your voice. Carmen was sure he had the worst luck in the world, a defeated sigh leaving him, he was almost positive there was no chance you were calling him back.

Quickly putting his phone on Do Not Disturb and in the safety of his jacket pocket, he entered the meeting, as much as he wanted to drop everything and fix things with you. He wasn’t even sure what you had called him for. Carmen also knew it was for the best to attend the meeting,

Carmen was sitting in his car allowing it to warm up as he waited. The skyline began to reflect the sunset, the time on the dashboard letting him know it was around dinner time. He fished his phone out of his pocket mindlessly checking the notifications he’d gotten while in the meeting.

Carmy’s brows furrowed at the flurry of messages he received from a group chat he wasn’t aware he was a part of. He frowned as he opened it, your contact is one of the many in the text chain. The only contact with a photo was yours, making you easily distinguishable, he realized the rest of the people in the chat were the restaurant crew. He scrolled through the messages eyes reading over your message with details about a baby shower, your address included.

Carmy exited out of his messages, unsure of how things were between the two of you. It had been three weeks since the argument and neither of you had tried contacting the other. But here he was with a message from you, and a missed call and he wasn’t sure how to take any of it.

He decided it was a good idea to call you back, and try and feel out the atmosphere between the two of you. His heart felt like it was stuttering in his chest as his finger hovered over his screen; you left him a voicemail. He needed to know what the message said, but a part of him was also worried he might not like what he heard, he had hurt you too many times to count, and if whatever you had to say to him broke him down more than he already was, well then he was sure he deserved it.

Carmen took one last deep breath before clicking on the voicemail and raising the phone to his ear, heart pounding in his chest as he heard the sweet whisper of your voice.

‘Hey Carmen, uh it’s me…Baby. Not sure why I introduced myself. I'm sure you know it’s me.” Carmy let out a watery chuckle at the sound of your voice, even if he hadn't saved your number the delicate timber of your voice would’ve been enough for him.

“Listen uh, I got your number for Pete. I hope you don’t mind, I know you have issues with girls actually having your number…Sorry, that was actually kind of rude. Anyway, I uh…Pete helped put things in perspective for me and I, I think we need to talk Carmen. I’m not sure when or if you even want that, but I think we both deserve a chance to explain our side of things. I um…I also have some things I think you should know. Just, if this is something you’re interested in, you have my number.” Carmen felt his heart rate slow down your words, nothing more than a piece offering.

“I just want to be clear though, um..if I don’t hear back from you, I’m going to take that as a sign. So yeah, call me back or something I guess.” The line finally went silent, your voice no longer caressing Carmy’s ears.

It felt like he was having heart palpitations but he knew it was just his nerves getting the best of him. He pulled the phone away from his ear, the time on his phone reading 5:30 p.m. Carmy quickly opened the group chat scrolling through to find your address and open it up in maps. You lived about 30 minutes from where he was, he was confident he could get there in 20 and spare the 10 minutes at a store near you.

Carmen made his decision as he set his phone down in the cup holder before beginning his journey. The ball was in his court, you had given him an olive branch and it was up to him whether he accepted it or not. He was nervous, maybe showing up at your house to cook you dinner wasn’t his most thought-out plan but he needed you desperately, needed to see you, be in your presence, and know that there was still a chance of something more between the two of you.

The hope Carmy felt when he saw you calling him earlier was now back tenfold: the pendant delicately resting against his chest felt warm. Carmen was adamant that he would admit his love for you tonight, unsure if he could go another day living with the fact that you were in love with him, but you still didn’t know just how much he had always loved you. You were so blissfully unaware that since he could remember, you had been the one and only option in his mind.

a/n: wowza, long time no see. i apologize that this is a bit of a filler chapter but it felt kinda necessary idk. anway please let me know if there are any problems with this chapter it's barely edited. enjoy : )

also also: both richard cabral as coco in mayans and manny montana as rio in good girls inspired cortez the sponsor, but head canon him as whoever you want…okay bye now 🤍

#if im ever on death row im asking for this story as my last meal #bc i simply devour it every single time #carmen berzatto x reader

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